


Lonely Hearts

by flyintherightdirection (CoincidenceConnection)



Category: Chicago Med
Genre: Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, F/M, Heartache, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-03-03 15:03:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 28,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13343715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoincidenceConnection/pseuds/flyintherightdirection
Summary: Connor is struggling after the events of season 3, episode 6, ‘Ties that Bind’. But he isn’t struggling as much as Sarah. What if they could be there for each other?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Basically I hated that Connor was so harsh with Sarah, I don’t like that he went from looking out for her to tearing her down. So it’s my own fix-it for after season 3 episode 6. Please comment, I’d love to hear your thoughts!

The familiar noise of Molly’s was comforting. Connor sat, lost in the crowd, nursing a drink at the bar. After the day he had had, he just wanted to be alone. But he knew he couldn’t just sit alone in his apartment all night by himself, there were just too many reminders of Robyn.   
At the mere thought of his now ex-girlfriend, he took another swig of his drink. It had been a long week, first Robyn had just up and left him with no indication of where she had gone, and when she finally got in contact, merely tried to break up with him over the phone. He didn’t want that and they had argued for what felt like hours over the phone, while he sat alone in the apartment they had once shared. So she relented, told him where she was and he gotten the first flight out to see her.   
She had been calm, and more contented in herself than she had been for months. And while Connor had been happy to see her happy, it also resulted in being a hard pill to swallow. She was right, she was better off away from him. She explained it all, in the calm, collected manner that he wasn’t used to anymore. She understood that he just wanted to help, that he wanted to fix her, to save her but she told him that he didn’t really love her. And it was nobody’s fault, they were just better off apart now, to start afresh.  
She was smiling as she waved him off to the airport, and at least it gave him the peace of mind that she was on a much better path, that she would be able to fight her illness better away from Chicago Med. But it still hurt. The entire plane ride home was ruined by the horrendous pain of feeling like someone had just ripped his heart out while also hitting him over the head with a metal bar. He was confused, hurt and miserable.  
Because he had genuinely loved Robyn. Or at least he had thought he did. The seeds of doubt in his mind that she had planted about his true intentions confused him even more and left him with more questions to ponder.  
It was how he found himself there at the bar, quite contented in his own misery. That was until April appeared at his side. He had been well aware his colleagues were at Molly’s. He had seen them arrive and find a table, Natalie, Will, Ethan and April but he just wasn’t in the mood of being surrounded by happy couples.  
April ordered another round of drinks before turning her attention to him, “Rough day?”   
He scoffed, “You have no idea.”   
As if his whole ordeal with Robyn wasn’t enough, Ava Bekker had taken another one of his surgeries while he had been away, and being outdone in work had just been salt in his wounds.  
She nodded, then sighed and shook her head slightly, “I can’t see how it’d be any worse than Sarah’s.”  
“As in Reese?” He asked, completely perplexed, while also cringing slightly at hearing the younger doctor’s name, he had nearly taken her head off the last time he had spoken with her about Robyn’s care.   
“Yeah.” She nodded, “did you not year about everything?”  
“I’ve been a little preoccupied.” He practically snarled while immediately regretting the edge to his words. “What happened?”  
“She attacked a patient with pepper spray.”  
April said it as if it had been the most obvious thing in the world, but Connor nearly choked on his drink. Reese? The same conscientious, big hearted doctor that he knew?  
“You’re not serious?” It was the most out of character thing he had ever heard.  
“Yeah, I am.” She sighed. “Noah said she’s been having a hard time since Dr Charles got shot. Her prescription pad had been stolen, her tires slashed, her car broken into and then Dr Charles attacked again? It’s a lot to take on.”  
Connor was stuck for words. But he knew there was no way she would attack a patient without reason.   
“I had no idea.”   
“None of us did.”  
“She did take Noah’s attack bad though didn’t she? Asking Maggie something about being safe right?”  
“Yeah.”  
“I just assumed it was a one off thing.” He confessed.  
“Well like you said, you were preoccupied, you have an excuse for not noticing. She avoided the ED like the plague and we didn’t do anything about it.”  
“Well the ED isn’t exactly a calm work environment. Don’t feel too bad about it.” He told her as she collected her drinks. “Reese will get through it. Have a good night.”  
“Thanks Connor, you too.” She smiled slightly before leaving him to his thoughts once again.  
Reese attacking a patient. It wasn’t a group of words that Connor thought he would ever string together.  
His drink suddenly didn’t sit well in his stomach. He had nearly tore her apart the last day he had spoken to her, questioned her competence as a doctor and went over her head for a second opinion.   
How could he have not seen that something was wrong with her? He had always been able to read her like a book. Ever since the first day he had arrived in the ED when she was a nervous medical student. She wore her emotions on her sleeve, to him anyway. She was always desperate to help her patients, always double checking, always putting in more effort than any other of the medical students the ED had had.   
She had been cut up over Dr Wheeler’s death, for not being quick enough to notice.   
Connor felt like someone had punched him in the gut. She was a good colleague, a more than capable doctor, and nobody had noticed her at all.  
Instead, he just gave her a hard time over Robyn. Anyone else, he realised now, Ethan or Will or anyone else would have called him up on his behaviour. Sick girlfriend or not, there was no reason to treat a colleague like that. But Reese, the woman who had spent a long time doubting her own abilities? She had just taken all his misplaced frustration over Robyn’s progress, and never said a word.  
The noise was too much, all of a sudden. He left money on the counter, grabbed his jacket and made his way outside for some air. The cold Chicago air nearly burned his lungs.   
He nearly felt dizzy with all the thoughts bounding around his head. He felt lost, like he didn’t even know who he was anymore. He had spent months and months with Robyn, caring for her, loving her, trying to protect her, for it all to come to nothing, for him to all alone again. He felt like all his ties had been cut, like he was floating with no purpose anymore.   
He had fallen behind in work. He had lied to himself for a long time, pretending that he hadn’t. But he had. And he had to refocus. He wasn’t like him to drop the ball on his career. It was what had separated him from his father’s legacy. Connor had carved his own path. But that was now in danger of losing its reputation.  
And Reese. He had burned his bridges there, no doubt. And now without his Robyn blinkers on, he needed to rebuild some resemblance of a working relationship with her. She had done her best by Robyn. He owed her his thanks, at least.  
And it troubled him quite a bit more than he would like to admit. That she had been struggling, that nobody had noticed and that he might have made things worse.  
But he had his own life to work on, one without Robyn and one with a career in need of care.  
But there was something that he needed to do first.  
He needed to find out if Reese was okay.


	2. Chapter 2

Sarah Reese had had a bad day. After a gruelling hearing in front of the hospital Board, being cross questioned, her entire work history laid bare and all the various psychiatric tests she had taken since the incident reported aloud, all she wanted to do was curl up in bed.

The last thing she expected was for Dr Charles to casually mention that Connor Rhodes had rang him, asking for Sarah’s address.

As if there was anything casual about that. She was struck with fear. What if he wanted to give out to her again? What if he blamed her for Robyn leaving? And worst of all, what if he completely ripped her to shreds over the pepper spray incident?

Dr Charles had obviously gotten better at reading her because he took in the look of utter fear in her eyes, “He sounded like he was just checking up on you, seeing if you’re okay.” He explained.

“Oh.” She commented, settling down on her sofa after changing her clothes from the hearing.

She was doubtful. She had dealt with a lot of scorn, ridicule through the gossip mill at work and doubtful glances from the colleagues who had bothered to turn up to her hearing. The last thing she wanted was for Connor to look at her like that.

She had enough self-hate over the entire ordeal without his disapproval too.

She had been just another medical student, struggling like a fish out of water until Connor turned up. He _saw_ her. In some ways he had been one of her biggest supporters, helping her out with cases, giving her advice and even asking her opinion. He had even noticed how upset she was after Dr Wheeler’s death. Connor saw her when nobody else did.

It had been nice, knowing she had someone she could turn to. Even if he was a hotshot surgeon that had the staff swooning with his presence, she hadn’t been intimidated. She liked to consider them friends.

That was why she had taken his criticism of her performance at work in regard to Robyn straight to heart.

She had once also liked to consider herself part of the ED family. She blamed herself for pulling away, for taking research projects and avoiding the ED like the plague, but nobody had even raised their eyebrows. Nobody had noticed. The psychiatry staff didn’t like her much, she had been hand-picked by the head of the department and it didn’t make for an easy integration. In fact, it had rubbed a lot of people in the department up the wrong way. And because she was in psychiatry, she had spent less time in the ED. And her presence wasn’t missed much. She got less invites to Molly’s, less people to sit with at lunch and she felt ignored after the shooting.

But it was her own fault, she realised now, for not speaking up, for not asking for help, for pretending to be fine. She had pulled away from everyone in work.

But Connor wanting to call over?

She rubbed her tired eyes, “Yeah, you can tell him. I don’t think this day can get any worse anyway.” She sighed.

“Hey, don’t say that.” Noah said, handing her a mug of hot chocolate. Noah. Unreliable, irresponsible, outgoing Noah Sexton had somehow transformed before her eyes. He had become one of the only people she could count on. He stuck by her through it all. And she appreciated it more than he would ever know.

But she was afraid he did it for the wrong reasons. He had made his intentions clear; he liked her. But she had been as equally clear; nothing was going to happen. She liked him, but only as a friend. They were so very opposite, but she had grown to love his company, but there was still no spark. And it annoyed her, that she couldn’t just _feel_ something else for him. But it just wasn’t happening.

Twenty minutes later, a knock came to her apartment door. Both Dr Charles and Noah looked warily over at it. The two men that had stuck by her side had become her unofficial bodyguards, and she loved them for it.

She unfolded herself, stood up and tried to steel herself for the encounter.

She walked to the door, opening it gingerly to find Connor on the other side.

He looked as bad as she felt. His beard was nearly untidy and the bags under his eyes displayed just how worn out he was too.

“Reese. I, eh, I came to apologise.” He nearly stuck her to her spot with the intense look he gave her.

_That_ threw her.

Her reputation was in tatters, her career hanging by a thread and she didn’t know if she had any colleagues left in Med that would want to talk to her. She attacked a patient. She had practically ruined her life. And _he_ was apologising?

The confusion obviously played out on her face because he immediately followed up on his declaration.

“Last week, I was unfair to you, I attacked your medical opinion with Robyn, I’m sorry.”

She stepped out into the hallway, closing the door behind her.

“My medical opinion is hardly trustworthy Connor, don’t worry about it.” She couldn’t even meet his eyes. “But I appreciate the apology, really.”

“Reese…” He started in that firm tone of his that she knew he was being deadly serious. “Are you okay?”

She could only laugh bitterly at how pathetic she felt. “I attacked a patient.” She still was in shock at her own actions herself. “I’m not so good.”

He tilted his head slightly, trying to catch her eye, “Reese, the one thing I do know is that you are a good doctor. My outbursts to you about Robyn were completely misplaced. You’re a good doctor. And I don’t believe you just attacked a patient without a reason.”

That was the most reassuring thing anybody had said to her.

She mumbled her explanation at him as quickly as she could.

“Sorry, what?”

She had to clear his throat before looking him in the eye, “PTSD.” She told him. “They’ve told me, and the hearing, that I had PTSD. After the shooting, I didn’t…I tried not to let it affect me but…” She sighed, “A lot of things piled up, I’m kind of on my own between the ED and psychiatry, I didn’t tell anyone…”

“You told Maggie.”

Was he defending her? She couldn’t quite believe her ears.

“Yeah…”

“Most of us heard it, I had my thing with Robyn, but did nobody else ever ask you if you were okay, even after Noah was attacked?”

She pushed her hair behind her ear, “It’s nobody else’s fault, it’s mine. I attacked a patient.”

“Did he intimidate you?”

She didn’t like his straight questions. “He was giving out, getting too close.” She shook her head. “But I should have called security, or Ethan, or someone, I just freaked out and pepper sprayed him.”

It was getting harder to breathe and she bit the inside of her cheek, the last thing she wanted to do was cry in front of Connor Rhodes. She had gone over her the incident so many times in her own head that any reminder of it just made her head hurt.

“Reese, you’re eating yourself up in side over this. Don’t do that, it’s not good for you. Yeah things went wrong, but you were struggling.” He folded his arms, “I don’t think the hospital can fire you if that’s what you’re worried about, it sounds like there wasn’t much support for you.”

He was right, she was terrified about losing her job, her career, her entire education over it all.

“I don’t think I can trust myself again with patients.” She hadn’t admitted her deepest fear to anyone, not even the counsellor she was seeing.

She didn’t know why she felt like she could be vulnerable around Connor of all people.

“Remember, after Dr Wheeler’s death? It was one of those things you learn to look out for. This is one of those things.” He told her, “And once you get help now, sort some things out…you’re a good doctor Reese, you could be a great one, and we need more doctors like you. You can’t let this beat you.”

For some reason she believed him more than she did any of the reassurances she had gotten so far from Dr Charles and Noah. Maybe it was because he was an outsider, not in her immediate circle. But maybe it was because she had always valued his opinion.

It felt like a weight had lifted off her chest but the tears appeared anyway. She rubbed at her eyes, he had just said what her counsellors and mentor had said but it meant a lot because he didn’t have to be nice to her. He was just being Connor.

“Thanks Connor.”

He nodded, taking his cue to leave. “Alright, well I’ll hopefully see you in work.” He gave her a small smile which she managed to return.

Maybe she could do it. She knew it was going to be tough, if she had a job to go back to at all, and she didn’t expect many people to want to even talk to her after the incident. But she had Dr Charles and Noah. And now apparently Connor was on her side too.

She knew if she was allowed back to work she wasn’t going to waste the opportunity. She had to give it everything. Maybe she could take care of patients again, but she needed to take care of herself first.

She made sure her tears were gone before going back inside to her apartment. She was expecting a long few days, purely because it would take that long for the board’s decision to be made. But she had therapy sessions planned most days for the next while anyway. She had to get better first, before she could take care of anyone else.

She just hoped that Med would give her the chance to be a doctor again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've gone with Sarah's point of view this chapter and I was thinking of alternating point of views between chapters, just so you know. Also: I don't own the characters and have no medical knowledge.
> 
> I just hope I've got the characters somewhat in character. Hope you liked this chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

Connor stifled a yawn. He immediately criticized himself for it because he couldn’t be tired yet, he was only half way through his double shift.

It had been a tiring three weeks, since Robyn had left. He had managed to keep his promise to himself and try and get his life back on track. He had been clocking up extra hours at work to both make up for lost time and to limit the amount of time he had to spend in his apartment. Every time he went home now, he still expected Robyn to be there.

He was finishing off some paperwork in the ED bay when he decided he was going to need some coffee. Stat. He handed the paperwork over to Maggie before moving toward the doctor’s lounge. He was ducking in and around the crowd, hoping his pager wouldn’t beep and he could get his coffee, when he saw her.

He saw Dr Reese was walking through the front door, making a beeline for the doctors’ lounge, getting there before him.

He was glad to see her back.

Connor had patched things up with Dr Charles after Robyn left which resulted in two benefits for him; being able to hear how Robyn was doing and to hear if Reese was cleared to work again. She had been. The Board had made its decision, enforcing mandatory therapy sessions and extra courses for her to participate in, but she was allowed back to work.

He thought she would have took a longer break, but there she was, standing at her locker.

“Hey Reese, good to see you back.” He said, causing her to look around at him.

“Thanks Connor.” She responded before taking a deep breath.

She didn’t look as nervous as he had expected her too. But, he reminded himself, she wasn’t the same nervous student he had met three years ago.

“How are you doing?” He asked as nonchalantly as he could while he went about making his coffee.

She was quiet for a minute, putting her prescription pad in her jacket pocket.

“I’m in a much better place, thanks. I keep telling myself that I can actually do this.” She nervously smiled while closing up her locker.

“You can.” He told her, taking a sip of caffeine. “There’s a reason you didn’t suit pathology, you should be working with patients.”

She let out something that was between a laugh and sigh, “I…I know.” She said, eventually meeting his eyes.

The door opened, interrupting their alone time, and Natalie wandered in with her bag.

“Sarah.” She said upon spotting the younger doctor. “Welcome back.”  She smiled at Connor and tried to keep a smile in place for Sarah before dropping her things in her locker and leaving just as quickly.

 “Thanks.” Sarah told Natalie’s retreating figure as she left the room again, her shoulders deflating slightly.

“You alright?” Connor asked.

Sarah nodded, “I mean I wasn’t expecting a welcome wagon or anything…I’m just worried nobody will want to work with me, I guess.”

“Here? I give it ten minutes before something else riles up the gossip mill and it’ll all be forgotten about.”

“I can’t blame anyone for being wary of working with me though.” She said, squaring her shoulders back up.

He couldn’t help but scoff, “Reese, we’ve all worked with you for three years, it was one mistake, they’ll have to get over it.”

A small smile played on her lips, “Are you joining my own personal cheer team along with Noah and Dr Charles then?”

He laughed while shrugging, “I was new once too and it took a while for people to warm up to me too. They’ll get over their reservations.” His pager beeped, cutting through the empty room. “There’s my que. Have a good day.” He told her, placing his mug in the sink and nodding back to her.

* * *

 

His second shift was harder than his first one. Of course, he put it down to the fact that Ava Bekker was on shift too. She just rubbed him up the wrong way all the time. He knew realistically, that it as healthy to have some competition, which it would keep him on his toes. But he also knew that he had become a bit too comfortable in his place as one of the best surgical fellows in the hospital. And he didn’t like his place being challenged.

His concentration levels were waning and tiredness was setting in again and it was how he found himself heading back to the doctors lounge for lunch. He needed more coffee without the waiting in line at the cafeteria.

Something was off. Connor knew it the minute he walked into the doctors’ lounge.

Reese was sitting at one of the computers, a file open in front of her, which was a fairly normal occurrence. What bothered him was the fact that three of the nurses and two doctors from other departments were sitting around a table, having a hushed conversation that was far too audible.

“Yeah well you can’t expect the paramedics to bring patients to hospital where they get attacked by the doctors can you?” Doris asked while the other two threw glances toward Reese’s back.

They all perked up when they noticed him standing by the coffee machine, looking in their direction.

“Hey Connor, are you going to Molly’s tonight?”

“Nah I don’t think so.” He didn’t even want to answer them and gritted out his words.

“Hey Reese?” He called, gaining glances from the other staff.

She glanced around at him, avoiding looking at the table of people, whom he now suspected was Med’s infamous gossip mill itself, “Yeah?”

“Have you seen the new pizza room yet?” He asked.

“No, I haven’t.” She answered, shaking her head “We have a _pizza_ room?”

“Yeah.” He nodded, acknowledging how strange it sounded, “You free for lunch now? I’ll show you.”

He didn’t want her to have to listen to people _literally_ talk behind her back. He had had enough of it himself when Robyn had been sick, the sly glances, the whispers about them. He wouldn’t want to put anyone through it.

“Yeah, yeah okay.” She shut down the computer, put the files away while he made his coffee and he led the way out. She followed him through the ED, before he stopped at the door.

He opened the door for her, “Behold the new scheme to get more patients with insurance. Targeting the paramedics with pizza, sofas and a flat screen TV.” He smiled at the thought of it all before following her into the newly designed room.

“Seriously?” A smile appeared on her lips as she followed his suit and sat down on one of the sofas. He figured it was one of her only proper smiles of the day.

“Yeah it was Maggie’s idea. Apparently it’s working” He told her as she looked around.

“And I thought you could use somewhere else to go to for a break, you won’t get any rest when you have to listen to people talking like that in the lounge.”

“I’ve been hearing it all day.” She said, shrugging. “I expected it really, I just have to keep going until I prove myself again.”

“Tell me about it.” He sighed, “Everyone thought I wasn’t up for work with the whole Robyn situation, you just have to prove to them that you wouldn’t be working if you knew you weren’t up for it you know?”

“Exactly!” She said, her eyes lighting up with the knowledge that she wasn’t the only one to feel like that before. “How is Robyn doing?” He could see it written across her face, how she was slightly apprehensive to bring up the subject, but he admired the fact that she did.

Everyone else danced around the subject, pretending that his ex-girlfriend had never existed.

He filled her in on what Dr Charles had told him, that she was making much better progress.

“I’m sorry it didn’t work out here.” She told him.

“Thanks. Me too.”

He was nearly afraid of the awkward silence that always followed anytime anyone had accidentally brought up Robyn. But Reese just jumped right into asking him how his shift was going.

The door opened and Gabby Dawson and Sylvie Brett’s arrival cut through their conversation half an hour later.

“Of crap, that’s the time.” Reese said, standing up after checking her watch. After saying hello to the two paramedics who joked that doctors shouldn’t get to use their pizza room, Reese turned back to him. “Thanks for this Connor. For everything. See you later.”

He hadn’t noticed the time go by either, it was nice to talk to someone that didn’t ignore Robyn and who was interested in work. His pager beeped again, ending his short chat with the paramedics, and he began counting down the hours until his shift finished.

* * *

 

By the end of his shift, he had been asked by Ethan, Natalie, Maggie and Doris again if he was joining the majority of the ED staff in Molly’s that evening. At that point he felt as if he couldn’t say no, he had practically ignored any form of a social life with his work colleagues for months now and felt like he owed them. He had resigned himself to an evening of being surrounded by happy couples with no one to talk to when he literally bumped into Reese after getting changed out of his scrubs.

“Hey Connor,” She half smiled, “Any plans for after shift?”

“Actually I’m headed to Molly’s, I’ve been coerced.” He admitted before realising he could kill two birds with one stone. He could finish his conversation with Reese about the journal they had read and avoid being stuck between the various Med couples and he could help try to integrate her back into the ED’s social life because he knew nobody else was going to ask her to come along with them. It sounded like a win-win to him.

“Do you have plans this evening?” He asked.

She gave a tired laugh, “No, none at all.”

“Do you want to come along to Molly’s then?”

 


	4. Chapter 4

If anyone had told Sarah Reese three years ago that she would be hanging out with Dr Connor Rhodes at Molly’s after work, she would have laughed and called it a good joke.

But there she was, sitting at the end of the bar, tucked between the wall and Connor, having a drink and chatting with the cardiothoracic fellow.

After the long day she had had, she was glad of the company.

They had just agreed to disagree over their opinion on a new medical procedure being trialled when Gabby came over.

“Glad to see you two found somewhere that wasn’t the paramedics’ room to have a chat.” She laughed. “Your Med staff had sure filled the place tonight.”

Sarah glanced around the crowded bar, what the paramedic said was true, most of the ED staff were there, along with a few familiar faces from psychiatry and various other departments.

She had arrived by herself, after Connor had gone ahead, and she had headed home to change. It had been nearly worse than entering the ED that morning. Entering the bar and feeling like every eye was one her, which of course, she knew was untrue but it didn’t stop her from worrying. Worrying about who exactly was a friendly face anymore.

She spotted Connor standing with Will and Natalie, Ethan and Maggie at a table but she hesitated. He had been extremely nice to her today, helping her out of the awkward position she had been, trying to pretend she didn’t hear the other staff talking about her behind her back. She hoped that he didn’t know that she had been blinking back tears before he had entered the room.

And he had asked her to go along to Molly’s but she didn’t want to assume that he wanted her to hang around him. Her reputation was in tatters, she knew Connor’s would nearly be ruined if he stuck around with her much longer. So she surveyed the room, hoping to find _anybody_ she could talk to.

She spotted some of the intelligence unit, but she knew Erin had left Chicago and she didn’t really know any of the others well enough to just wander over and just start up a conversation. Connor caught her eye when she had been looking around and he nodded her over.

She wandered over to the group, said hello to everyone and was relieved when Ethan and Maggie made room for her between them. Connor caught her eye and smiled discreetly. They were chatting about some basketball game and while she didn’t have any interest in the sport, she was just glad the conversation wasn’t about her first day back.

Eventually other people arrived, Will slipped in beside Natalie, and Sarah held back a smile, she had been waiting for the pair to get together since her first couple of weeks as a student. April and Doris arrived soon after, with a few other nurses following. The grouping was getting a bit awkward, everyone pairing off into conversations, leaving Sarah with no one to talk to. She couldn’t just leave the bar and go home, she had to try and regain their trust.

She excused herself to go to the bathroom, spending too long telling herself in the mirror that she could just get through the evening. She was leaving the bathroom when she saw Connor at the bar.

“There you are.” He said, “It’s getting too much like Valentine’s Day over there for me.” He admitted with a soft laugh. He took a seat at the bar. “Did you get a drink yet?”

And that was how Sarah had found herself sitting beside Connor, hiding away from the rest of the group for the rest of the night. She got the feeling that he needed the company as much as she did.

“I know it sounds terrible, but I’m just not in the mood of being around couples in love at the minute.” He admitted. She couldn’t blame him, a month ago the man probably thought he had his love life on track, with Robyn going to get better.

“Anyway.” He sighed, shaking his head, “How are things with you and Noah?”

“What?” She looked up from her drink to Connor so fast she nearly got whiplash. “Me and Noah?”

“Yeah, I thought you two were dating?” He drew his eyebrows together in confusion.

“What has he been telling people?” She almost demanded, her stomach dropping.

“Nothing.” He told her, “I just saw him at your apartment that night, I just figured…” He trailed off and Sarah was felt relieved that Noah hadn’t been telling everyone they were together.

“Oh no.” She shook her head a little too vehemently, “I mean he’s been a great friend, he’s really been there for me, but we are not dating. I keep telling him it’s not going to happen, I’m just worried he’s never going to take no for an answer.”

She was immediately terrified she had said too much. After all, her and Connor may be friendly colleagues but chatting about relationships was an entire other ball game.

He did look slightly bemused at her admission for a second but seemed to take it in his stride. “I see.” He said, before taking a drink. “So be honest, how was work today?”

She flinched at the question. “Okay, my pager has never been so quiet. I was eventually called for a consult when Dr Charles was busy. Will did seem a bit apprehensive but I didn’t attack this patient this time.” She tried to smile in jest but she couldn’t do it.

“It’ll get easier.”

She had forgotten about the entire ordeal for the entire time she had been talking to him, but as soon as she remembered it hit her in the git, and she felt like she was nearly drowning in it all again.

“That’s what I hear.” She nodded, “You know if I were you I wouldn’t sit too much longer here with me, you don’t want a bad reputation by association with me.” She said, her drink suddenly tasting bitter in her mouth.

“I find it better to try and not care what people think. You feel bad enough, don’t let them make it worse.”

She just hummed in agreement.

He stared at her for a minute, she stared at her drink but she could still feel his gaze. “Don’t worry about me, I’m used to being on the outside. And I’d rather be on your team anyway, people shouldn’t desert you just because you made a mistake.”

She let his words settle, before Ethan came over while he was ordering more drinks for his table to ask them how they were. The two were left in silence when Ethan left before Sarah spoke up again.

“So how was the rest of your shift?”

He seemed to debate her question, “I had a tough case, but I also had yet another civil conversation with Dr Bekker, the new fellow on my team.”

“Is a civil conversation a rare occurrence?”

“Yeah.” He let out a laugh, “Usually we’re head to head in competition, but recently…I don’t know.” He looked at Sarah, “I dread to think she might be flirting with me.”

So apparently they could talk about their respective love lives to each other now. Sarah made a mental note to herself.  

“Because you two had a civil conversation?” She asked.

“Because it’s the second time she’s asked to go for a drink after work to celebrate our case working out.”

“Okay, I’m not a relationship expert.” She stated, turning slightly to face him more, “But tell me more about her and your apparent predicament.” She smiled.

So he told her about his new working situation.

“Connor.” She laughed, “The woman is after moving country, working under the same doctor that you have more experience with and she’s probably just looking for a friend.”

“You think?”

“Yeah definitely.”

He sighed in relief and she had to laugh again, “Good, because I have to go to a conference with her over the weekend and I have enough relationship trouble without this too.”

“I think you should be fine.” Sarah reassured him with a smile.

A comfortable silence fell between them for a few minutes while Sarah almost laughed to herself that she wouldn’t have believed she would ever be talking about relationships with Connor Rhodes in Molly’s. But she supposed it was a case of timing. They had both gone through enough that had withdrew them from Med’s social life, and neither had many other people to talk to. Connor had his tainted family history and just lost Robyn and she was pretty much alone in the city and hadn’t done herself many favours at work. They seemed to be in their own little bubble all of a sudden.

“But weren’t you dating that kid from pathology though?” He mused aloud, out of nowhere.

She nearly groaned, “Yeah, Joey, he moved on pretty quickly though.” She glanced over at him, she hardly believed that he knew anything about her except her name and department. Strictly work information.

He laughed at her confused expression, “Hey I used to keep up with the work gossip.” He defended himself. “Until it turned on me.”

“I know that feeling.”

That was when they ordered more drinks.

It was later on when they decided they had better call it a night. Most of the Med crowd had already left anyway.

Her cab arrived first.

“Well tonight went better than I had planned.” She said, putting her coat on, “Beats sitting alone at home.” He handed her scarf to her, “Thanks for the invitation Connor.”

“Thanks for coming along, I would have been alone otherwise. See you in work.”

She turned back to him before opening the door to the cold air, “See you Connor.”

“Goodnight Sarah.” He smiled.

Sarah was sure of the fact that she had had a good evening. She was also sure of the fact that Connor was officially on her team.

What she wasn’t so sure of was when exactly Connor had gone from calling her Reese to calling her Sarah but she did know that she didn’t mind.

Not in the slightest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you're enjoying this story so far. Please comment and let me know what you think :)


	5. Chapter 5

Connor watched Sarah disappear into the night as the cab lights faded away. His own cab pulled up soon after, making its way across the city. He arrived at his building, his stomach dropping again at the thought of the empty space waiting to meet him.

He let himself in the door of his apartment, turning on lights as he went. As much as he was still hurting over Robyn, he had to admit that he had a better night than he had been expecting.

Sarah Reese was full of surprises. It was nice to have someone take an interest in his work, not his bank account, like many others did. He hated seeing her beating herself up over everything that had happened, he just hoped everyone else gave her a break.

He nearly laughed to himself as he took off his jacket, thinking of the look of panicked embarrassment that had appeared on her face when she was talking about Noah. Even in the dim lights of the bar, he could see the slight tinge of red in her cheeks, like she thought she was oversharing.

That was when he had decided that they may have been work colleagues before, but sitting together all night, alone from the rest of their work circle, and actually enjoying her company, that they could be good friends. He would never have believed that he would have been friends with the meek medical student he had met on his first day. But she wasn’t the same person anymore, and neither was he.

His phone buzzed just as he was ready to crawl into bed. He picked it up and read the message.

‘ _Thanks again for tonight. Goodnight Connor_.’ It was from Sarah. They had swapped numbers sometime during their night. He had made some joke that he couldn’t keep running messages to her through Dr Charles and she had laughed. He smiled at his phone, sending a quick reply and for once, his empty apartment didn’t seem so lonely.

* * *

 

 

He had a headache and he could feel the stress in his shoulders. After the long day, the last thing he wanted was a black tie dinner for all the conference attendees. They had had a long day of talks, discussions, presentations on the latest research and key note speakers in the field of cardiology.

Connor had never felt so behind in his life. Since he had gone after his education in medicine he always felt ahead of the crowd.

Will had always joked that he should crack open a medical journal sometime but he had never taken him all that seriously. He knew what he was doing. He had learned more from Dr Downey and Dr Latham than he thought anyone could learn from a research journal. But he had dropped the ball. He had become comfortable in his position as one of the best surgeons in the hospital.

But he had been sat with Ava at the conference, who had just nodded along to all the new information. He had become complacent and she had raced on. But he knew her methods, he had more hands on knowledge where she had the research knowledge. He hated competition, but maybe they could make a good team.

But only if Sarah Reese had been right and Ava wasn’t thinking of him _that_ way. Because he had endured enough of dating an immediate colleague during the car crash relationship that he had been through with Sam Zanetti.

He now found himself in a tux that he only took out for mandatory Rhodes events. Ones that Claire twisted his arm to, or ones that had the benefit of annoying his father. He preferred to stay away from high society if he could.

He entered the dining room, filled with the best of the best in the field of cardiology. Ava appeared out of nowhere at his side. “I don’t know about you Dr Rhodes but I would much prefer to be in an operating theatre right now than parading around like this for an evening.”

He liked her opinion. He glanced at her, while she practically glared around the room. “Would you?”

“Yes.” She told him in her clipped tone, “But don’t go biting my head off because I’m trying to make conversation.” She met his eyes and dared him to.

He sighed, “I apologise. I haven’t exactly been easy to work with since everything with Robyn. But I agree, work would be more enjoyable than this.” He said as he surveyed the room.

“Really?” She asked, obviously doubting his change of heart in regard to her.

“Yes.” He said before an announcement was made for everyone to take their seats. “You can call me Connor by the way.”

She narrowed her eyes at him as they made their way to their seats. “Fine. But don’t expect me to take it easy on you in work.”

“I wouldn’t want you to.” He smiled, she didn’t want her to because she would keep him competitive and he did enjoy the competition if he let himself.

There more speeches, droning on and it left Connor to survey the room. Ava wasn’t the only one dressed beautifully. The entire room was filled with successful, intelligent and glamorous women. But the only thing Connor could think of was the fact that he would have preferred spending the evening with Sarah, with her hair down and a huge smile on her face, talking and laughing for hours.

 

* * *

 

His next shift was a long one, but he was finally finished and he was on his way to the doctors’ lounge to pick up his things when he passed by the pizza room and noticed Sarah on one of the sofas.

He ducked into the room, “Hey Sarah, how’s it going?”

She jumped at her name, “Oh hey Connor. Good thanks. I’m glad you showed me this place, there were too many people in the lounge” She explained, holding up the end of her sandwich, “How was your conference?”

He debated the question. “Interesting. Eye opening.”

“Doesn’t sound too bad.” She nodded, “How did things go with Ava?”

He smiled, “Good. We had another civil conversation. _And_ she seemed a lot more interested in one of the other doctors.” He said.

“I told you so!” She laughed.

“Yeah.” He admitted before frowning slightly, “But spending all weekend being surrounded by the most up to date cardiothoracic surgeons? I’ve realised that I have a lot to catch up on.”

“You’ve had a lot on your plate lately.” She reminded him while putting the rest of her food away, “You’re one of the best surgeons the hospital has, and you’ll catch up.”

He considered her words. They weren’t delivered to boost his ego like most people tried to do, but in genuine belief in him. And he had never had many people believe in him before. He could count them on one hand. His Mom, Dr Downey, Robyn. He had survived on self-belief for years. But it never hurt to add someone else to the list.

“Thanks.”

 “I’m headed to the library now actually.” She told him, grabbing her bag. “I have to run and get a table before the students finish their shift and descend on the place.”

“Ah, residency research.” He grimaced in sympathy.

“Yeah. I mean, before it all, I was doing my research projects to escape the ED but I need to commit some hours to the rest of it, you know?”

“You know, if you don’t mind, I think I’ll join you. If there’s one thing the conference taught me it’s that I need to get some research done.” He said, thinking a few hours in the library would be more beneficial to him than spending time moping around his apartment or at the bar.

“Yeah sounds good.”

“I’ll just grab my things.” He told her.

He made it to the lounge and changed out of his scrubs, before thinking that he needed coffee if he was to study for a few hours. He zipped out to the coffee truck parked outside, got two coffees in paper cups before making his way back inside to Sarah.

Her eyes lit up at the sight of the coffee. “I figured we could do with a caffeine hit on the way up to the library.”

“You’re a mind reader. Thank you.” She said as she took the cup he offered her.

They were nearly out of the ED when Noah came out of one of the patient rooms.

“Hey Sarah. How was your shift?” He asked before realising Connor was standing there too. “Hey man.”

“It was good, I’m headed up to the library now actually. Have a good shift.” Sarah said, trying to side step Noah.

“Cool, hey, I’ll call you later?” Noah asked Sarah before sending a cold look in Connor’s direction.

“I’ll be pretty tired later on Noah, I’ll see you next shift.”

“Yeah, hey, we can grab lunch then?” Connor had never felt more of a third wheel in his life and had to take a sip of his coffee to hide his smile. Sarah was right, Noah did like her.

She made some sort of non-committed sound in response before glancing at her watch and telling Noah she really had to go.

Connor nodded at the younger doctor before following Sarah to the elevator. He decided the last thing she wanted was to be reminded about her Noah situation, so he asked her how her weekend was. They chatted about nothing in particular on their walk to Med’s library, but he enjoyed it after the long shift he had had.

They were late to the library incidentally, most of the Med’s staff seemed to have descended on it, and they were left with separate desks on opposite sides of the floor.

It hit Connor as he trawled through medical journals. That he was starting to really enjoy Sarah’s company, the easy conversation and he missed it when they parted.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support! I know it’s quite slow moving but I want to develop it all as realistically to the show as I can. Anyway, I’d love to know what you think and I hope you liked this chapter.


	6. Chapter 6

The weeks seemed to fly by for Sarah, between the tough work schedule of her residency, her therapy sessions and learning to trust herself again, time seemed to slip through her fingers.

Work was hard, but Sarah had to admit that it did help to have an extra friendly face around.

She had never seen Connor looking as _intense_ in work for a long time, he was working harder than ever but he always brightened up to acknowledge her, to ask her how work was going or just to pass her some coffee and sometimes his small acts of kindness made her day.

There was no denying that her psychiatry colleagues certainly didn’t approve of her return to work, so Sarah was just glad that she was spending most of her time with Dr Charles and if she wasn’t researching independently, she was in the ED. It had been agreed as the best plan of action for her recovery, a sort of getting back on the horse mentality.

But it didn’t make it easy. She woke up every morning wondering if she should keep going, if she could keep going. Her unease in dealing with scared or aggressive patients had lessened but it was still a lot to take on when she didn’t know if she could count on her colleagues in the ED anymore.

Still, she squared her shoulders, gave herself a pep talk in her car and went to work every day. She was still actively avoiding Noah’s advances while still trying to maintain their friendship. But it was getting harder with every compliment her gave her and every invitation for drinks, or lunch, or any other assortment of activities he came up with as an excuse for a date.

“Morning Sarah. Today’s the big day, huh?” Connor asked from over the top of his coffee mug as she took her things from her locker.

“Yeah, taking the training wheels off. Pulling an entire shift on my own.” She hated the slight doubt in her voice, but it wasn’t like when she had graduated. Then, she had doubted her abilities but now she just doubted the support system.

“You’re ready for it though right?”

“Yeah, we’ve all agreed.”

“Well hey if you need anything, just page me.” He said as he leaned against the counter, “Even if it is just to avoid Doris or Noah.”

She cringed slightly. “Is it that obvious?”

He nodded slightly, “I think you’re right about his feelings.”

Just another thing to add to her list to worry about. She sighed, “Great.”

“It’ll be alright, he’ll move on eventually.”

“Hope so.” She said, before they shared a smile and she went out to face the proverbial music.

The first part of her shift went well, just her usual rounds in the psychiatry department, it was just before her lunch break that she got her first call.

“Hey Sarah?” Will asked from across the desk in the middle of the hectic ED.

She was surprised to be called on, “Yeah?” She answered, lifting her head from the computer screen.

“Can I have a consult, if you have time? I have this patient and I don’t know what other avenues I have.”

If the situation wasn’t so serious she would have laughed at the mutinous look on Doris’ face as she stood by Will.

It felt silly, that being asked for her medical opinion made her day, but it did.

“Eh, yeah, absolutely, sure.” She tried not to sound too excited over the prospect of being useful again. She made her way around to the doctor and nurse. Will handed her the tablet and let her have a look at the information.

“So she wasn’t the original patient?” Sarah asked.

“No and that’s half my problem. See Beth came in with her friend who had broken her arm. But then Beth started vomiting, complaining of stomach pains, but I’ve had her down for a scan, ran the bloods and there seems to be nothing biological causing the episodes.”

Sarah tried to look discreetly into the Trauma bay where Beth was, she was an average looking weight but looked tired. What Will said was true, she thought, as she ran over the tests that were carried out.

“Do you mind if I have a word with her?” She asked, and she knew that she was asking for a lot of trust.

“Please, can you?” Will asked in return with a reassuring look.

Sarah bit the inside of her cheek under the scrutiny of Doris beside her and she could feel Maggie looking at her, but she had to ask. It was part of her recovery plan with her therapist, to give her more confidence entering a room and Goodwin now insisted that patients were to be informed what field Sarah was in before she could talk to them.

“Will, can you eh, can you tell her first? That I’m a psychiatrist and if she consents I can have a chat and see if I can help?”  

“Yeah, of course.” Will said as if it meant nothing. But it meant a lot. It gave Sarah some hope that her ED family might start be willing to give her a second chance.

One of the doctors from another shift had scoffed and said she was being mellow dramatic when she had asked. But then she had Dr Charles to step in. Now she was on her own. The bustle of the ED went on around her while she waited to see Beth nod to what Will was saying. He in turn nodded to Sarah and she made her way in.

“Hi Beth, I’m Dr Reese. I understand you’re not feeling very well today, do you mind if we have a chat?”

Beth nodded but looked worried, “I’m not crazy.”

“I know.” Sarah reassured her, “I’m just checking there’s no underlying psychological reason that’s making you feel ill, that’s all. We’re just being thorough.”

“Okay.” Beth.

Will then excused himself, leaving Sarah with her first one-on-one patient in weeks.

It took a while, a long chat, a few tears for Sarah to finally determine that Beth actually had Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder.

“ARFID.” She told Will, handing him back his tablet, “And she’s agreed to start treatment with us and join one of the support groups I suggested.”

“Great, thanks Sarah.”

“You were in there with a patient by yourself?” Noah asked from a neighbouring computer.

“Yeah.” Sarah said as dismissively as she could, she didn’t need any other doubts voiced towards her at work.

“Are you sure you should be?” Her heart sunk when Ethan chipped in with his thoughts from across the bay. She cursed the sudden lull in the ED, it felt like everyone was listening.

She bristled at his words. She was in a far better headspace than before. If she trusted herself, why couldn’t they?

“Yes. I’ve been cleared by the Board, my therapist and Dr Charles. Ms Goodwin sent around a memo about the new protocols on informing patients about a psychiatry consult right? I feel capable of doing my job so if you have any problems with my work then you should probably take it up with Dr Charles.” She said, leaving Will, Ethan and Noah in a stunned silence at her clipped words.

She didn’t know if she had overstepped her mark, if she had been too much, if she should apologise. But just before she was going to apologise, her pager beeped.

She didn’t even look at it, assuming it was the psychiatry department. “I have to go, excuse me.”

She made it to the elevator before she looked at her pager and read Dr Rhodes’ name.

“ _Pizza?”_

She practically spun on the spot, her eyes glancing around to just catch Connor entering the paramedic’s room. So she lifted her head, pretended she knew what she was doing and followed his lead.

“Hey.” He looked at her from under his eyelashes, with a sheepish look on his face, “I thought you could use an escape route out there.” He said by way of explanation.

She groaned in embarrassment, “Did everyone hear me complaining?” She asked, sinking into one of the sofas. “I should apologise, I was out of line…”

“I was just passing on my way to lunch and I overheard. You were standing up for yourself, you shouldn’t apologise for it Sarah.”

“But I’m _already_ not trusted, now they’re going to think I’ll bite their head off every time they ask me to consult.”

“Nah.” He said, frowning at her words and folding his arms. It was a sure sign, Sarah had learnt in their time together these past few weeks, that meant that Connor was going to dig his heels in over something. “Listen, they needed to know that you feel okay now. I’m not blind, they have been avoiding you as much as they have been avoiding me these past few weeks, it’s about time they start working with you again.”

“Have you ever thought of going into inspirational speaking?” She asked, watching as his frown disappeared and turned into a bright smile.

“It was my back up plan to medicine.” He deadpanned, “Hey, you free for lunch?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“I’m on my way to the cafeteria, you feel like some company?”

“Yeah definitely.”

They arrived in the cafeteria at prime lunch time, so Sarah volunteered to grab a table while Connor took her order and joined the que for the food.

She only found a free table when Ethan arrived, “Hey Sarah, sorry to interrupt, can I have a word?”

She didn’t mean to hesitate but she did, “Yeah, eh, okay. Sit down.”

He gave her a grim smile in thanks and took a seat opposite him.

He sighed, “Listen Sarah, I’m sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have questioned your judgement…”

“It’s fine Ethan…”

“No, it’s not.” He said firmly, “I mean I feel bad that I never stepped in before the pepper spray incident, I’m sorry I didn’t notice any of the signs. I shouldn’t have sent you into that patient like that. I’m the Chief Resident, and I didn’t notice and that’s inexcusable.”

“It’s not your fault Ethan.”

“Yeah, but we’re supposed to be a team, and we all let you down.” Sarah touched that they cared. She presumed everyone would either hate her or not trust her. “But like you said, you’re doing better, and the ED, we’re behind you from now on, we’ll make sure of it.”

It felt like a weight lifted off her chest. He excused himself after she thanked him and she was nearly blinking back happy tears when Connor arrived with their lunches.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I think everything’s going to be okay.”

“I’m happy to hear it.” He smiled.


	7. Chapter 7

Connor glanced at his phone on the way into work. He still wished it was a message from Robyn but instead he just found an email from his landlord asking if and when he wanted to renew his lease on his apartment. He shoved the phone back into his pocket, deciding to deal with it after his shift.

A short trip in the elevator to the cardiology department and he was ready to face his work. He quickly checked the roster, seeing Ava’s name down with his own for the shift. It didn’t elicit the groan that it would have weeks ago. Sarah had been right, Ava may be as competitive as himself, but she was alone in Chicago too and they had become better at working together.

Since the conference and while he was in the progress of getting his career back on track, Connor had developed a burgeoning respect for the South African doctor. She had started the job at a disadvantage to him and worked hard to prove herself, she had a no-nonsense approach that he appreciated and was as committed to her career as much as he was.

And while they locked horns over certain cases, as well as still trying to take charge of the more high profile cases, they had developed a working relationship. Hell, he had even gone for a drink with her after work a time or two. Sarah had laughed when he had told her, telling him how much the tables had turned. Weeks ago and he was avoiding Dr Bekker, and now they were getting along.

Things changed, he guessed.

He scrubbed in for his first surgery, a standard bypass that went well, doing his rounds and checking up on Olivia Matthews, one of his patients that was waiting on a heart transplant. She was in a stable condition, and they were hoping to keep her that way until a heart became available.

His day was going routinely until his pager beeped. He was needed in the ED. He made it to the elevator at the same time as Dr Bekker, his mind was racing through situations that could call for a trauma surgeon and another cardiologist.

The elevator arrived at their floor, empty apart from Sarah.

“Hey Sarah.” He said while Ava pressed the button for the ED floor.

Things had been going well for Sarah lately. She deserved the break, he thought. Ever since the ED staff had taken her back into their fold, she had spent less time in the paramedics’ room. He was happy for her, but he also missed the company while hiding out from the other staff.

“Dr Bekker, this is Dr Sarah Reese, psychiatry.” He made the introductions, standing between the pair.

“Ah, so you’re the doctor that pepper sprayed a patient.” Ava stated as she shook Sarah’s hand.

Sarah was obviously thrown at the fact of it being put so bluntly but she recovered quickly. “Yes, unfortunately.”

Connor could see Ava scrutinise her, “If you’re half the doctor Connor says you are, then I’m sure it’ll all be fine.”

Connor tried to jump in, to clarify that he didn’t go around talking about Sarah all the time, but upon seeing Sarah’s cheeks flush, he didn’t. It was the smile that got him. The small smile that spread onto her lips, that made him hold his tongue. She avoided his eyes and he was happy to let her take the compliment.

“You’re the new cardiothoracic fellow right?” Sarah asked, feigning ignorance as Connor had already pointed Ava out to her once back when they were having lunch and he had been avoiding his Ava like the plague.

“Yes.” The elevator arrived before they could continue the conversation and Ava and Connor had to leave.  Ava bolted first, letting Sarah laugh and comment to Connor on the encounter.

“I see what you mean about the straight talking.” Sarah smiled, “See you around Connor.”

 

One thing that Connor loved while working in cardiology and not trauma was that he had time to eat his lunch. He was sitting in the cafeteria doing just that when Dr Charles appeared.

“Hey Dr Rhodes, mind if I sit?”

“Sure thing.” Connor said without a second thought, “Anything wrong Dr Charles?”

“No, no, nothing wrong.” The older doctor said, meandering his sentence to the point where Connor knew it wasn’t just a quick lunch chat.

“Okay.” Connor nodded, already putting a guard up.

“I was talking to Robyn yesterday.”

“How’s she doing?” Connor shot at him, terror flooding his body, at the prospect of something being wrong with Robyn.

“She’s doing well, she’s making great strides. She was going out with some friends last night.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah, she’s reacclimatising and adjusting, it’s good to hear.”

Connor was glad to hear it too, he wanted nothing but good things for Robyn.

“And she uh mentioned going on a date next week, with Cody, her ex.”

Connor knew that name. Cody was Robyn’s long term boyfriend before she decided to move to Chicago. It had been an amicable split according to Robyn, breaking up purely because of her move.

But the blow of hearing that Robyn was going on a date with someone that wasn’t him, was a bit much for Connor as he tried to keep eating his lunch.

“Ah.” Connor choked out. “I see.”

“I don’t mean to deliver bad news Connor, I just thought you should know sooner rather than later. You loved her and I appreciated just how much you cared for her, so I didn’t want you to be in the dark about this.”

Connor appreciated where Daniel was coming from, it was better to hear now than to wait months hoping she might change her mind and come back to him. He hadn’t meant to keep hoping, but the pain in his heart told him that he had.

Dr Charles left him to it after a few minutes, but Connor couldn’t stomach anymore food. He sighed, getting up and realising that he had more time to kill for lunch and wandered on down to the lounge to give himself time to process.

He walked into the doctors’ lounge, finding Will and Natalie sitting together. This was why he was avoiding all the colleagues he had called friends, he kept running into happy couples at work. This time, though, he stopped himself from frowning and leaving the room at lightning speed. He had been the happy couple a few months ago and didn’t want to think that people had avoided him for that. There was also the elephant in the room of Robyn that everyone needed to get over or Connor would never settle back into the ED family, as Sarah liked to call it.

“Hey.” He nodded to them before fixing himself on getting the strongest cup of coffee that he could.

“Hey man, how are things?” Will asked.

“Alright, considering.” He said, “How’s the ED after on today?”

“Manic.” Natalie answered with a tired sigh.

The door opened again, and Sarah entered quickly followed by a doctor from neurology that Connor was sure was part of the infamous gossip mill.

“Hey Sarah.” Natalie smiled, and Connor watched Sarah smile in return. He knew that the fact that she had stood up for herself made work in the ED a whole lot easier, it made the rest of the staff stop tiptoeing around her. He now just wished they’d do the same with him.

“Hey, mind if I sit?” She asked, fishing food from the refrigerator.

“No, go ahead.” Will said, pulling out the chair beside him for her.

“Connor, what was the emergency case like earlier?” Sarah asked him.

Connor huffed, “Brutal.”

“Tell me about it.” Will winced.

Connor could have easily done what he had been doing for weeks, avoiding everyone as much as they were avoiding Robyn. Or, he could follow Sarah’s example, bite the bullet and try to get involved again.

So he took a seat beside Natalie and along with Will, recalled what the case had entailed.

 

“How is Olivia Matthews doing?” Ava asked as she packed her bag while they both got ready to leave work at the end of their shift.

“Stable, I checked before I clocked out. It’s just the matter of waiting.”

Ava nodded, “And that’s what you’re doing right?”

“Excuse me?”

“You. You’re _waiting_ around for Robyn to come back.”

It rattled him, that she could hit so close to home with the truth. He opened his mouth to protest, but closed it when he realised that it was the truth.

“And while I appreciate the fact that you’re actually focusing on work again, you’re not exactly a joy to be around most of the time.”

If Ava wasn’t nearly insulting him with her straight talking, he would have laughed at her dry delivery, as if it was the most obvious thing in the word. Ava had no filter, and he liked that, she told you the truth.

“I’m not waiting around for Robyn to come back, actually. She’s moved on.” The words nearly burnt his throat.

“Huh.” Ava said, taking in the new revelation. “Then go on some dates or something, anything to get rid of those frown lines you’re developing.”

Connor found himself frowning. It was true his career and work life needed some TLC when Robyn left, but maybe looking back he could admit that he had thrown himself into work a little too hard, just to forget about her, which wasn’t ideal either.

“Well how exactly do you suggest I move on?” He humoured her and he picked up his own bag.

“I don’t know.” She rolled her eyes, “I’m not you’re personal life coach Connor.” She told him in exasperation. “I don’t know, ask Sarah out.”

“As in Dr Reese?” He wondered where the hell Ava was going with her stream of thought.

“Yeah.” She laughed, “Don’t look so surprised! The only time I’ve seen you do anything other than frown and scare the cardio residents these past few weeks is when you’re talking _with_ her or _about_ her. Just a thought.”

They bid each other good night as they parted ways at the hospital exit.

But Ava’s thought followed him home.

He had always liked Sarah Reese. From the first day he met her, she had a big heart, strived to do better and they always got along, as such.

And now as Chicago Med’s two most avoided employees, he had learned that she was smarter than she let on, she had a bigger heart than he had thought and that he loved spending time with her. He couldn’t pinpoint a reason why, he just did, it had become as easy as breathing.

But _like_ her?

The thought intrigued him more than he thought it would.

She was a beautiful woman, there was no denying it. He liked making her blush, he liked making her laugh and he liked how she somehow sometimes seemed to know him more than he knew himself.

Shaking his head and deciding to sleep on it, he pushed the thought from his mind. He couldn’t just go and ask her out, not when they had become used to spending so much time together, and anyway, the poor woman had enough man troubles trying to keep Noah Sexton at bay.

He wasn’t ready to jump into a relationship again anyway. Not when he was still hung up on Robyn.

Ava was right about one thing though, he needed to move on and stop waiting around.

So he rang up his landlord to end his lease. He was moving out of what he still considered his and Robyn’s apartment. If Robyn had moved on, he needed to too.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	8. Chapter Eight

Sarah was having a morning coffee with Natalie and Monique when her pager beeped. It was nice, being _welcomed_ at work.

When she read that it was from Connor, Sarah tried to tell herself that her heart was not fluttering. She tried to argue with herself that it had nothing to do with the fact that apparently Connor sung her praises to Ava Bekker, but it had felt like a nice change. After everything she had heard people talk about her it was nice to hear that the elusive and well regarded _Dr Connor Rhodes_ was backing her up.

They may have become friendlier but she never expected him to talk about her in such a nice way.

After breaking the ice with having a full blown conversation with Will and Natalie, Sarah liked to think that Connor was getting back to himself, getting back into the group and just like her, being more comfortable at work.

“Sorry, I’ve got to go.” She told the two other women and made her way across the ED.

“Hey Sarah…” Noah practically stepped in front of her to say hello, “So I was thinking…”

“Noah, I’m sorry, I’ve been paged, I need to get to cardiology okay? We’ll talk later. You’re birthday party’s still on tomorrow?” She had to step around him to keep going.

“Yeah it is, you still going?”

“I am.” She called back to him but she had to keep going before he could stop her again.

She was still in two minds over Noah Sexton. He had been there for her, no questions asked. But now he was constantly hounding her to go out with him. And she couldn’t think of anymore ways to brush him off without offending him.

She made her way up to cardiology where the charge nurse in cardiology pointed her to the right room but Connor was already standing outside waiting for her.

Maybe it was the fact that he talked about her, maybe it was because they had drinks together but Sarah felt like a medical student all over again. Because of course she had had a crush on Connor at the start, along with most of the staff. He was the generic perfect, tall dark and handsome guy. But he was always more to that to Sarah.

“Dr Reese, thanks for coming.” He said, “I’ve spoken to the patient, her name’s Olivia Matthews and she’s happy to talk to you.”

She appreciated the fact that she didn’t have to ask for her safety protocols to be acted upon. It had been like that in the ED too since she had her talk with Ethan and it had made going to work in the morning much easier.

He opened the door for her and she walked in and said hello. It was the standard psych test for the patient receiving a new heart so it was one of Sarah’s easier cases that day. It matched up with the previous test the woman had done but she had been too the waiting list so long it had expired.

Connor told Olivia he would be back soon and followed Sarah out of the room.

“Well?” The apprehensiveness and worry in his voice was evident and she appreciated the fact that he cared about his patients so much.

“She’s clear on my end, you can go right ahead with the surgery, I’ll just fill out my part of the paperwork.”

She watched the tension dissipate from Connor’s shoulders, “Good. Thanks Sarah. We just got word a new heart was ready and then our psych evaluation was too long ago to be cleared by the Board and she deserves this chance…and…” He sighed with a smile, “I’m just glad I can deliver some good news to her.” He got the paperwork off the charge nurse and let Sarah start filling it out. “Thanks, I’ll see you later.” He put a friendly hand on her arm and made a beeline back for Olivia’s room. She missed the slight contact before she even had a chance to process it.

She liked the idea of meeting Connor later on much more than having to meet with Noah and his expectations.

 

* * *

 

Sarah sighed in relief at the end of her shift, she gathered her things and made her way to the door, ducking around the chaos of the ED. She had nearly got to the exit when she had to stop when she heard Noah call her name. She hated that she flinched at his voice but she knew that he was just going to keep hounding her for a date.

“Hey, how was your shift?” He asked, adjusting the strap of his bag on his shoulder.

“Good enough, you?”

He shrugged, “So you up to anything this evening, a friend of mine can get us into this new club and…”

“Sorry Noah, I have my therapy session to go to.” She had to cut across his excitement.

“But shouldn’t they have ended weeks ago? You said there was only a few weeks of mandatory ones.”

She didn’t miss the edge in his voice and she flinched under his sudden shift in attitude, “Yeah they did but I kept going, I find they help.”

“Come on Sarah, blow it off for one night. Live a little. We can get that drink together you owe me.” He said with his trademark smirk.

And with that, she was officially uncomfortable. “Noah, I have plans…”

“ ‘Night guys.” Will waved to them as he passed by and walked to the car park, exactly where Sarah wanted to disappear to right now.

“How was your consult with cardiology?” Noah changed the subject, not letting Sarah away from their conversation that easily.

“Good.” She nodded, “Connor had a heart transplant patient that I had to check in on.”

“Huh. You know I bet you wouldn’t say no to a drink with Connor would you?”

“Excuse me?”

He scoffed, “What are you like sleeping with the guy? That’s why you won’t go out with me?”

“Noah? What?”

“Sarah, everyone knows something is going on with you and him. Sneaking away together to the paramedics room? Practically having a double date with Will and Natalie in the middle of the doctors’ lounge? I’m not blind Sarah.”

She felt like she had been slapped. And her patience had finally worn thin, Noah had been a great help to her but he couldn’t go tearing her down _now_. She couldn’t believe that Noah couldn’t just take no for an answer, that he had to go attack her and Connor.

“Firstly, there is nothing happening between me and Dr Rhodes, and secondly, it would be no one else’s business even if there was.”

“Uh huh, yeah.” He practically rolled his eyes at her explanation.

“Noah! Nothing is happening between me and Connor. I just do not want to date you. _I’m sorry_ , but that’s how I feel. Can we please just let this go and be friends again?”

“You know I stuck by you even when everyone told me not to, you could at least go on a date with me.” Sarah was struggling to keep up with his flawed logic. “You know what, you’re not worth it, I should have listened to everyone else.”

Connor approached them at the worst moment. “Hey. Have a good evening” He nodded in their general direction.

Noah practically glowered at him before shooting one last dirty look in Sarah’s direction “You know what? Don’t bother coming to my party tomorrow, you’ll probably be busy with him anyway.” He said before stalking out of the building.

Sarah _hated_ that Noah’s words could cut so deep and that she was left blinking back tears in the doorway of the hospital.

“Sarah, are you okay?” Connor had stopped and made his way over to her.

She scrunched up her nose and tried to breathe evenly and nodded.

“Come on, I’ll walk you to your car.” He said softly, not believing her and he placed a hand lightly at the base of her back to guide her out of the hospital.

They got to her car, and between the fresh air and the chance to catch her breath Sarah composed herself.

“Thanks Connor. Noah’s just…” She sighed, not knowing where to begin. “I tried to tell him no, _again_ , and he didn’t take it well. He started bringing up stupid rumours that you and I are _involved_ …”

Connor scoffed and rolled his eyes, “Of course there are rumours. Most of the staff ostracise us and then decide that because we’re friends that we’re sleeping together? You’d think they’d be a little more creative with their gossip.”

She let out a breath that she didn’t know she was holding, secretly she didn’t want him to be offended because he was being linked to her.

She nodded, “And then he went on about how much I owe him because he stuck by me…all because I don’t want to go on a date with him…”

“That is beyond ridiculous Sarah, he can’t talk to you like that!” Outrage was rolling off Connor in waves, “The guy seriously needs to learn how to take rejection. He gets let away with so much. Even April is always cleaning up his messes for him and easing things over.”

She chewed her bottom lip in concern, “It still doesn’t make me feel any better, maybe he’s right, one date wouldn’t have killed me…”

“Sarah, you don’t have to go out with him if you don’t want to. He has to accept that.”

“But he’s been such a good friend.” She argued.

“Yeah,” He nodded in conceit, “and as a good friend, he should drop it.”

“I know.” Sarah could feel a headache coming on. “I just didn’t want to lose him.”

“If he’s a good friend, you shouldn’t lose him over something like this.”

“I know.” She ran her hands over her face. “You’re right.”

“Best to let him cool off.” He said, leaning against her car.

She laughed humourlessly, “You know I don’t think I’ll be very welcome at his party tomorrow now. At least I have a free day now I guess.”

“You got any plans this evening?”

“I’ve got my therapy session.” She was nearly apprehensive that he would have the same throw away attitude that Noah did, but she had to remind herself that it was Connor. And they were there for each other, no alternative motives like Noah. “You?”

“Oh good, they’re going well?” She nodded in reply and he smiled softly then cringed, “I have to start clearing out my apartment.”

“Oh yeah, you cancelled your lease, didn’t you? Have you found anywhere else yet?”

He groaned, “No, house hunting isn’t my idea of great day off and at this point I’m considering letting Claire come along to help me find a good one, she enjoys it.”

“I loved finding my apartment, finding somewhere that fit all my books, had less crazy neighbours than my previous one and one that felt like home, you know?”

“Crazy neighbours?” He asked with a smile on his lips.

“Oh I would need hours to fill you in on the people I’ve lived near.” She laughed.

“Hey, no pressure or anything, but if you’re free tomorrow. How do you feel about hanging out with me and helping me find a place with preferable not so crazy neighbours?” He asked with a tilt of his head.

She was already looking forward to it more than she was about going to Noah’s party in the first place.

“I’d love to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks for reading!   
> I know there was a bit of Noah bashing this chapter, I don’t think he’s that bad in the show, he just kind of annoys me sometimes, so sorry to any Noah fans.  
> I’m taking our two lovely doctors out of the hospital for the next chapter, see you then! :)


	9. Chapter 9

The estate agent, named Estelle, wasn’t happy, Connor could tell. They were standing outside the first apartment building on their list to check out that day and she was fine when he told her that his friend was coming along to help him pick.

Everything changed when Sarah walked up to them.

“Hey Sarah.” He said, as she joined their little group on the sidewalk. He couldn’t help but notice that she was a lot more relaxed than the last time he had seen her in the car park, he was hoping he could help keep her mind off Noah. She didn’t deserve any of the trouble the first year resident was giving her. She wore her hair down, her shoulders were relaxed and she had a smile on her face, and Connor liked it all.

He introduced Sarah to Estelle as his friend but it was like watching a sunny day turn into a thunder storm as Estelle’s expression changed.

Ah, Connor thought, Estelle had got the wrong end of the stick. Or apparently, the same stick that Noah Sexton had, assuming he was _with_ Sarah.

He knew immediately what his sister had done. Claire had recommended Estelle because they were friends, but Connor got the message loud and clear. Claire was trying to set him up with her, _move on Connor_ , had been his sister’s exact words when he had told her about Robyn moving on.

His sister hadn’t been all that sympathetic to him at their latest dinner together, telling him it was about time he moved on. He knew Claire wasn’t trying to mean, he knew his baby sister and he knew that she was more annoyed at Robyn for leaving than at him. She was being protective.

And now she was sending him on blind dates he didn’t even know he was having.

But it made the first encounter with his new estate agent all the more awkward because his sister wasn’t to know that he was dragging Sarah along.

He hated to admit it but the idea had kept him up most of the night. What on earth had he been thinking? They were work friends, surely she just agreed to his suggestion to be polite. He tossed and turned wondering if he had just crossed some professional lines.

But on the other hand, he was beginning to learn that he cared a hell of a lot more about Sarah than he thought he did. If only Ava’s words didn’t haunt him. He was left wondering if he should ask Sarah out, and then second gassing himself.

His temper hadn’t flared in weeks until he saw the state that Noah Sexton had left Sarah in the doorway of the hospital. He didn’t care what had happened, she didn’t deserve it not with everything she had been dealing with lately. He was starting to care too much and it scared him.

Estelle struggled to smile at the pair before suggesting they go and have a look at the first apartment. Connor and Sarah fell into step together behind Estelle.

“Thanks for coming along.”

“Hey, this is much better than Noah’s party and my corresponding plans on how to avoid him at his own party. But you’re going to regret inviting me.” She said with a grin.

“Oh yeah, why’s that?”

“I’m notoriously picky when it comes to choosing apartments, but I love looking around so you’re stuck with me the entire day.”

He didn’t think he minded in the slightest.

“I was just going to pick the first one we see.” He laughed.

“Oh no, I have a list of questions you need to ask.” He smiled to himself, that was Sarah, always prepared. “And I’ll be on crazy neighbour lookout duty.”

“Like Earl?” He smiled to her as the three of them entered the elevator.

He had been surprised the night before, a few hours after he had gone back to his half empty apartment, when a text message had come in from Sarah. It had been a nice surprise.

She had been asking where she was going to meet with him for the viewings but the quick conversation back and forth had soon dissolved into her stories about the neighbours she had endured. In the end, he had given up pretences of getting any packing done and sat like he had as a teenage boy, waiting by his phone for a pretty girl to message him. He had sent stories of some of the people he had encountered growing up as a Rhodes in Chicago that he never remembered telling anyone else about. But he hadn’t had a friend like Sarah in a long time.

“Exactly.” She said with a small laugh as Estelle practically grinded her teeth in trying to keep her smile in place.

He did feel sorry for the woman, by all accounts and purposes, she had come on a date set up by Claire with _the_ Connor Rhodes, heir to the Rhodes legacy and he supposed the doctor title helped to sell him too. But now she was left on a job with Connor and what did, he supposed, looked like his girlfriend.

They made their way into the first apartment which Connor thought was a bit small for the price they were asking but it wasn’t like he knew much about it all.

That was where Sarah came into the equation. Whoever said that Sarah Reese was still the quiet, doubtful med student, was absolutely wrong. She was hitting Estelle left and right with questions over the bills, the lengths of the contract and the age of the appliances. Things that Connor wouldn’t even think of. He was a Dolan Rhodes heir, money was hardly a problem, but during the course of the day he found out more about Sarah, money wasn’t much of a bother to her either but she liked to get things right.

“Did anyone ever tell you that you should go into law?” Connor asked her in a whisper as Estelle walked in front of them on her phone, leaving the apartment.

He watched in amusement as she scrunched up her nose as if she had just smelled something bad, “Ugh. Yes. My mother.” She moaned.

“Did you ever think about it? Because you have got the questioning part down.”

“My mother is an attorney. I’ve had enough law in my life thanks, it’s not for me.”

“Oh you’re Mom’s in law? What does your Dad do?” Connor kicked himself for his question as soon as the words left his mouth.

She visibly cringed, ““I don’t know, he left when I was little, haven’t had any contact since.”

With his family history, he chastised himself, he should really know not to pry into other people’s family life. He was just intrigued in finding out more about Sarah when she wasn’t in doctor mode.

“His loss.” He told her, nudging a shoulder against hers they got into the elevator again, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have pried.”

“No you didn’t pry, it doesn’t matter, you didn’t know.” She shrugged, but he found himself hating the fact that her smile had disappeared. “So what did you think of that place?”

He sighed, wondering how to explain that it was fine.

She smiled at his expression, “So that one’s a no.”

“Yeah.” He admitted.

They went to the next two apartments, one was too far from work and the other had ‘ridiculous’ clauses in the lease according to Sarah.

He loved the simplicity of the day, of finding out the oddest things about each other. She found out that he wanted space for his record player and she mentioned that she played piano as a stress relief. Sarah loved open plan apartments because she was an only child and had spent most of her time in different rooms than her mother but liked the idea of being in the same space. Her favourite colour was blue and she found out that he actually liked the cold weather in Chicago.

 “What?” He asked her in a whisper as they walked out of the third apartment

“Nothing.” She looked like she had been caught in headlights.

“Uh huh.”

“I just…” She looked warily towards where Estelle was calling someone on her phone. “I just think that you’re estate agent is hitting on you…” she shrugged, looking ridiculously uncomfortable, “I can leave?”

He could have laughed at the slight alarmed cute face she was pulling.

“Please don’t.” He said thinking that they were now definitely in the firm friends’ category. “This is Claire’s idea of getting me to move on.” He said with a grimace, “You’re now my excuse to get out a date with her.” He said as an apology.

“Okay. But you owe your fake girlfriend a drink afterwards.” She told him, sticking him to the spot with a mock glare.

“You got it.” He grinned like a Cheshire cat

The fourth apartment was the best one so far. Sarah was happy with it, it covered all the vitals she had told him not to compromise on and he liked the views. He was going to tell Estelle that he was going to sign a lease for this one but he found himself not wanting the excursion to end just yet. To cut his time with Sarah short.

He was beginning notice the way Sarah frowned when she was annoyed or mulling something over and the small smile that played on her face when she was trying not to laugh. She was becoming more comfortable in his company, he could tell. But he didn’t notice that he was letting his guard down too. It was nice, getting out of work together.

“Are there any more on the list?” He asked Estelle as Sarah wandered around the place.

“There is one more, it’s for sale though.” She said, “I know your brief was rental only…”

“Why don’t we look at it anyway?” Sarah chipped in from where she was checking out the views. Another viewing it was then.

“Why rentals?” Sarah asked as soon as they were walking side by side down the hallway.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I thought you said Chicago was home now when you came back, so why don’t you _buy_ a home?”

“I guess, after everything with my family...” He scratched the back of his neck, her question bothered him, “I never really felt at home anyway. And I’ve moved around with my career. I just, I guess buying? It’s putting down roots isn’t it? I guess I hadn’t really thought about it.”

He didn’t really have anything to stay around for. He could work from anywhere if he had to. He had thought that he and Robyn could settle down but that had gone up in flames.

Sarah looked at him like she was looking right into his soul, “I guess it’s just me, but when I finish my residency I’d love to buy a house and be settled in one place. I like to know I’ve somewhere to come back to. My Mom and I moved around a few times for her work after my Dad left, I just, I guess I used to think if we had stayed at home that he could have found us again.”

He understood it. He did. But after his mother’s death he needed to get away from home. But it was true, he called Chicago home now but did he really practice what he preached? He lived in rentals so he could leave at the drop of a hat, whenever life got hard again.

He stuffed his hands in his pockets as they left the building, maybe it was something he had to think about, to stop floating around and work on the problems in his life and with his family and their history.

“Oh no. No, no, no, no.” Sarah said, her eyes going wide.

“What?”

She covered her eyes with her hand, “There’s Joey, my ex, and his second girlfriend he’s had since me. Crap, there’re coming our way. I should have wore better clothes, did my hair differently…” She mumbled as she eyed the guy with glasses holding hands with a woman coming their way down the street.

He didn’t think about it until it was done. He swung his arm around her shoulder. She jumped slightly, he could feel it, but she didn’t throw his arm away. She just looked up at him like he had gone mad.

He shrugged, “This whole _fake relationship.”_ He whispered lest Estelle heard and figured out they were _not_ actually dating. “…might as well work for you too.”

She laughed in relief, “Yeah okay.” 

She was hesitant but she wrapped her arm around his middle. They fit together like jigsaw pieces.

“Hey Joey.” She said, her voice more confident.

“Sarah, eh, yeah, eh, hi.” The guy said with his mouth agape.

“Sorry. You’ve met Connor before right?” Connor could have laughed at the sweet as pie tone of her voice.

“ _Dr Rhodes_.” He introduced himself and make sure to squeeze the guys hand a little bit harder when he shook his hand. He couldn’t help but enjoy it, if the guy was stupid enough to let Sarah go then he could squirm a bit meeting her ‘new boyfriend’.

Then entire interaction lasted about ten seconds, with Joey only desperate to get away and he felt Sarah relax at his side.

“I guess I owe you a drink now too.” She smiled up at him.

“Molly’s is going to seriously benefit from this relationship.” He smirked before he watched her expression change.

“But if there wasn’t enough rumours about us already, there will be now…” She chewed her bottom lip in worry.

“So…” He shrugged, “What’s a few more? At least we’ll be in this together now.”

They trailed behind Estelle, toward the next building that was only a short walk away. He knew that he should have removed his arm but he didn’t. Until it was too late.

Someone came out of the building in front of them, checking their bag and then looked up and straight at them.

April.

And by the look on her face, he knew that she didn’t like the view.

 


	10. Chapter 10

“Sarah. Connor.”

Sarah wanted the ground to swallow her up as April spoke. The nurse’s entire body was frozen, a look of shock etched onto her face in the middle of the sidewalk.

Sarah suddenly felt over conscious of the fact that she still had her arm snaked around Connor’s back. It had been an impulse, the start of an inside joke and it had felt far too comforting and promising for her to remove it.

Now she just felt like a fool.

She was the resident with a bad reputation hanging off the arm of the hospital’s hot shot heart surgeon.

April found her voice again, far too quickly for Sarah’s liking. “I thought you _weren’t_ dating?” She shot at Sarah. Ah, Sarah presumed April had heard all about her and Noah’s last conversation.

She immediately felt Connor’s arm stiffen around her, his hand still on her shoulder. She had to remind herself that it was there. In the course of a few fleeting minutes Sarah knew she had become far too fond of Connor practically attached to her hip. It was like they fit together so well, that he had become an extension of herself.

Until she fell under April’s glare and felt totally out of place. Because what they had wasn’t real. And suddenly, she didn’t know whether she wanted it be fake either.

“We’re not.” Sarah defended herself, something she had gotten far too used to doing in work, but her words fell on deaf ears.

“My brother stuck by you through it all, even though he shouldn’t have had, and you blow off his party for this?”

Sarah could have laughed at the fact that Estelle now looked a lot more interested in her and Connor’s relationship, and more specially, it’s woes.

“April…” Connor started, his voice low.

“Unbelievable.” April said, looking Connor up and down as if he had stolen Sarah away from Noah.

“I don’t have to talk either of you right now.” She gritted out and pushed her way past Sarah and practically stamped her way away from them.

Sarah swallowed, her mouth going dry as Connor removed his arm from her shoulders, a weight that she missed immediately.

“We have the worst luck when it comes to work relations don’t we?” Connor said, his mouth twitching upward, trying to crack a joke but sadly it did nothing to alleviate the sick feeling that curled itself up in her stomach.

She had just gotten back into the fold at work. She had finally been accepted back into her group of friends. Her family. And now what?

Noah was going to make her life difficult, Connor was going to be talked about because of her and April would surely have everyone pick Noah’s side.

Estelle cleared her throat, reminding Sarah that she was actually there, “Do you want to continue onto the next property?”

“We don’t have to.” Connor told Sarah under his breath. She guessed that she wasn’t hiding her emotions very well.

So she shook her head, to clear her thoughts, and decided that she wasn’t about to let the Sextons ruin the good day she had been having. 

And it had been a good day. Spending time with Connor beat cooping herself up in her apartment alone. That wasn’t to say that she wasn’t surprised by his invite. Sure they were friends but this was an entire other ball game. She loved it. He had somehow become one of the closet friends she had in Chicago.

“No, we should go.” She insisted, settling back into the bubble where it was just the two of them, “Anyway, we owe each other a drink, and I need it now.” She tried to give her best impression of a smile.

He nodded once, before they took off after Estelle, falling back into step with each other. She could tell that Connor was extremely surprised by the fact that they needed a cab ride to the next property. He had said he wanted rentals near Med. Sarah suppressed a laugh at the look of something between fear, confusion and intrigue that appeared on Connor’s face when they ended up along a street of houses complete with white picket fences and gardens.

“Claire mentioned that you might like to look at something that didn’t follow your exact requirements.” Estelle explained.

Connor huffed, “Claire thinks that I don’t know what I want.” He corrected.

“Might as well have a look.” Sarah suggested with a shrug.

“What the hell.” He sighed. “Sure.”

The house might as well have walked straight out of Sarah’s dreams. A well maintained two story building with a driveway, front lawn and in a good neighbourhood.

Estelle led them up the front steps, into the hallway that led into a gorgeous open plan kitchen, dining room and living room. If Sarah had the money she would have bought it right on the spot. There was even an extra living room perfect for cosying up in during the cold Chicago winter and with four bedrooms and an attic conversion? She could have her own library _and_ music room.

Sure, it had less space than the home that she had shared with her Mom, but it already felt ten times homelier.

“Have you any questions?” Estelle asked after they had taken a look at all the rooms.

Sarah blinked, like she had just woken up from a good dream, trying to refocus her thoughts. She hadn’t asked a single one of her questions off the list that her and her Mom had drawn up when she had been moving away from home. So she asked a few of the most important ones as she eyed up space for Connor’s record player and fawned over the kitchen.

“So you’re a fan then?” Connor asked with a smile as he leaned against the door frame of the extra living room.

“How could anybody not be?” She asked in return. “Can I just camp out here and not go back to work?”

She got to hear his laugh in response, “It has something about it doesn’t it?” He mused, looking around. “and it’s not even as far from Med as I thought. Maybe I don’t know what I want.” He frowned.

“Yes but you’re practical, rentals work for you.” She shrugged, “This is me window shopping for after my residency,” She smiled.

“It’s putting down roots isn’t it? This is a nice escape from the craziness of the city without being too far removed…”

“Maybe you _do_ know what you want.”

After another look at the rooms, with Estelle checking her watch every five seconds. The estate agent finally got the two doctors to leave the property with Connor promising to call to organise which property he was going to go with.

Sarah had been worried that their friendship would only stretch to work related topics and the fact that they both knew what it was like to be like on the outside. But she was proved wrong.

Estelle took a cab, but Sarah and Connor went walking.

The breeze was light, the sun was shining and she wished the sidewalk would go on forever. She watched as his face would light up taking about Guadalajara. She launched into long winded stories about home, happy to have someone who _listened._ Their shoulders bumped as they avoided people on the sidewalk, and she had to tell herself that under no circumstances could she reach for his hand, it may have lasted all of five minutes but Sarah missed their fake relationship.

With no other plans for the day but to grab a drink in Molly’s, they decided to and get something to eat. She was glad they weren’t dating, because if it was a date, Sarah didn’t know how she was going to eat her food. He was one of the most handsome men she had ever had the pleasure of meeting, and now knowing that he had a good heart too? It made it a lethal combination and she would have been too nervous to eat.

With the evening chill setting in, they grabbed a cab to Molly’s. Upon entering, Sarah breathed a sigh of relief at the fact that there was no other Med staff present. She cringed, thinking that they were probably all at Noah’s party, knowing that they would all soon learn of April’s discovery of her and Connor’s ‘relationship’.

“Hey guys, what can I get for my two favourite doctors?” Herrmann asked.

They ordered their drinks, grabbing a small table away from prying eyes. Sarah excused herself to go the bathroom and faltered when she caught sight of her appearance. The chill in the air had roused up the red in her cheeks. Her hair, which she had tamed as much as she could that morning, was now leading a life of it’s own, framing her face erratically.

But even with imminent arrival of more rumours and whispers and looks at work and even with the loss of a friend in Noah, she hadn’t felt this happy and contented in a long time.

It maybe, _might_ , have something to do with the handsome cardio-thoracic fellow. Just maybe.

She returned to their table and he pulled out the stool for her. It was nice, in an odd way, to not have their colleagues there. They didn’t have to hide away from everyone. They could just be Connor and Sarah, who happened to be doctors in the same hospital, who were good friends, and they even mingle with the other patrons of the bar. A light-hearted argument started between a few of the detectives from the 21st and Dawson and Brett from the firehouse over the lack of a ‘police room’ for pizza at the hospital.

“Hey, don’t go thinking that the doctors leave the room for exclusive paramedic use. These two are the worst culprits, they’re always hogging it.” Dawson joked.

“Yeah well I Will there and does that get me tv time or pizza? _No_.” Jay Halstead laughed, and Sarah could even _hear_ the family resemblance.

“Yeah well sometimes even we need an escape from the doctors and nurses.” Connor smiled before taking a drink.

Sarah couldn’t remember a night when she had laughed as much as she had done that night. Her cheeks were sore from smiling so much as she sat in her cab on the way home. And she may have been slightly tipsy.

That was what she was going to blame her behaviour if anyone asked. Because right there just inside the door of Molly’s when her and Connor were saying goodbye, she reached up and kissed his cheek.

The action had come naturally, she didn’t know what had triggered it. One minute they were saying goodnight and the next she had her lips pressed to his cheek. If he had any objections, he didn’t voice them. She hoped that he would take it as a friendly gesture and nothing more.

What ate at her the entire ride home was the thought that maybe she hadn’t meant it as a friendly gesture at all.

After she got home, receiving a goodnight text from Connor, she tried to tell herself that Noah _hadn’t_ been onto something when it came to her and Connor. She laughed at the irony of it, she hadn’t been thinking of Connor _that_ way before now. They had grown close since her pepper spray debacle and his split from Robyn, but not this close. Not close enough to go house hunting, grabbing dinner together and having drinks.

But after spending the day with him, or realising that he had stuck by her under no obligation at work, unlike Noah who wanted something in return.

The easy conversation, the reliability, the heart fluttering inducing smile he would send her way? It all culminated in the stark realisation that she was falling for Connor Rhodes.

And that she was falling fast.

 

* * *

 

 

She made her coffee extra strong the following morning in her apartment to drink on the way to work to wake herself up a bit. She hadn’t slept much that night.

She reminded herself as she drove that it was the reason that she never drank when she had work the next day.

But that was a lie to herself, because she knew that the alcohol wasn’t the reason that she had been awake half the night. If she hadn’t been worrying enough already about Noah and the aftermath of the run in with April, now she had to worry about her actions that had essentially been an advance on Connor.

Dr Rhodes, her colleague, friend and now confidant. And she had kissed him. She cringed at the thought out it. What had she been thinking?

Sure, he was handsome, they seemed to _get_ each other, they were the outliers in their friend group and he could make her heart flutter if she thought about him for too long but that didn’t mean she could just go and ruin their tentative friendship by kissing him.

She felt a headache coming on.

She made her way into the ED and into the doctors’ lounge, keeping her eyes peeled for either of the Sexton siblings or any of the staff that she just knew loved to gossip. She thought she had gotten in undetected until she opened the door and found Connor sitting with two cups of coffee at the table in the otherwise empty room.

She waited with bated breath as to whether he was going to bring up her misguided actions.

“Morning. Remind me why we let Herrmann give us those last drinks again?” He said with a smile on his face. “I got you coffee.” He pushed the mug toward her, “I thought if I was feeling extra tired this morning, you might be too.”

“Thanks.” She laughed, glad that they could gloss over it. “I need it.”

“I see Noah isn’t scheduled for a shift today.” He mentioned, clearing his throat.

Sarah immediately felt the tension ease in her shoulders, “Really? Good.” One Sexton less to deal with.

They chatted a while about nothing in particular until Maggie entered the room, arguing with Dr Stohl about resources.

“Hey, have you got a free minute for a consult?” Connor asked.

Sarah checked the time, “Yeah, I’ve a got a bit of time before my rounds, what is it?”

“Just to do the follow up chat with Olivia Matthews to make sure she’s doing okay.”

“Oh of course.” She didn’t even hesitate, she couldn’t, not when he was so invested in the patient. He had spoken at length about the patient at their dinner the previous evening, the woman had been in and out of the cardiology department since Connor had started his work there.

They left the lounge, crossing the ED as an ambulance rolled up and Sarah hoped that it might distract the staff. But that didn’t happen. April very nearly stuck Sarah to her spot with a glare from the other side of the ED bay. The nurse was standing still, holding a few files, following Sarah and Connor with her eyes as they made their way towards the elevator.

“At least we’re used to be the centre of attention when it comes to the rumours around here huh?” He sighed, pressing the button for the cardiology floor.

Then he spoke the words that she was thinking but too apprehensive about saying out loud. “At least we have each other this time.”

 

* * *

 

 

She had terrible timing. She really did. She ducked into the lounge to grab her bag from her locker at lunch when she was stopped by the heated conversation coming from the hallway to the changing rooms.

Her heart gave a lurch in the empty room, hearing the voices of April and Ethan from the other side of the door.

“I’m serious Ethan! It’s ridiculous. You should have seen them, they’re doing it on purpose. She’s purposely led my brother on and now she’s acting all innocent about it.”

“C’mon April, this is Sarah we’re talking about, she doesn’t have a malicious bone in her body.”

“Well if you’re going to go there, Ethan, she attacked a patient.”

“April, that is a totally different conversation.”

“Well I just don’t like how they’re flaunting it around.”

“They’re hardly flaunting anything. Are you sure they’re even dating?”

“Were you not listening to me? They were cuddling in the middle of the street. While she blew off Noah’s party!”

“Okay, but you did say that Noah _uninvited_ her. April, babe, seriously Noah and Sarah never dated. It’s not like she’s cheating on him. And Connor could use some happiness anyway.”

“ _Ethan._ That’s not the point. She broke my brother’s heart. And now Connor is rubbing it in. I would think you’d take our side.”

“I didn’t realise there were sides.”

She swallowed the lump in her throat. She knew there had to be rumours about them but that didn’t mean she wanted to actually hear them. She hated that it was coming from people she had once considered family. She got her bag as quickly and as quietly as she could and left the room in record time.

She knew there was a reason she liked the paramedics’ room. Less chance of running into the ever expanding list of colleagues that didn’t like her for one reason or another.

She was glad the room was empty, giving her a chance to let her heart rate come down.

Her heart didn’t get much respite as it started hammering again as soon as she saw Connor coming in.

“Hey.” He sighed, sinking into the sofa beside her. “How has your shift been so far?”

She shrugged, “Fine. Good.” She sighed, “Do you know there are sides now? Team Noah or Team Connor. I think they’re investing in t-shirts.” She said sombrely.

He laughed humourlessly, “Well take your pick, because from what I hear I’m the girlfriend stealing monster or you’re the heartless gold digger.”

She snorted, “Nice.”

“Yeah, we’re quite the duo.” He contemplated, holding her gaze.

It was broken a minute later when two paramedics arrived to watch something on the TV.

Sarah didn’t know if she was spending too much time looking at Connor recently because she could _tell_ something else was bothering him. Just from the way his shoulders were tensed and he hung his head slightly and furrowed his eyebrows as if trying to solve and insolvable puzzle.

 “What’s up?” She asked, knowing there was something wrong, as they left the room. He sighed, running his hand through his hair. “It’s Olivia, my heart transplant patient.”

Sarah perked up, “Oh? What’s wrong? She was doing great this morning.”

“It’s probably nothing. It’s just some of the stats weren’t up to standard so I had to up some of her medication, the last thing I want to happen is for her to go into graft failure.”

“No definitely not. Not after what she’s been through.” Sarah knew they had to keep a close on Olivia, because if the new heart failed it could be fatal.

“We just have to monitor her more carefully.”

Sarah wished there was some way she could make everything better for him. She hated seeing him this dejected.

“Keep me updated okay?” She asked.

“Yeah, I will, thanks Sarah.” She was happy just to see him perk up for the split second of realisation that she cared.

“Hey, I swapped my shifts with one of the other residents. So I’m working tomorrow instead of tomorrow night. Well okay, they wanted to swap and I want to win _someone_ over in psychology…” She admitted with a smile, “So anyway, I heard about this band that’s playing in a bar near me tomorrow night, and they play some of those classic songs you have records of and if you’re free, do you want to come along with me?”

So she may or may not have a crush on him, that didn’t mean she couldn’t spend time with him, right?

“Oh. Tomorrow night?” He scratched the back of his neck. “Actually I just made plans, with Estelle, the estate agent? Hey, maybe Claire was right and I do need to move on. I figured a date couldn’t hurt right?”

“No it couldn’t hurt. That’s good to hear.” She smiled, but her stomach dropped.

It did hurt. It made her heart hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the support. Apologies in the delay of updating, I didn't intend for there to be this long of a wait after that cliffhanger! Hope you enjoy this chapter :)


	11. Chapter 11

“What have you been doing?” Ava shot at him as soon arrived at the cardiology bay.

“Good morning to you too Dr Bekker.” Connor responded, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. He smiled despite himself, he did like the fact that she had no filter. “What have I done?”

“I don’t know but you better fix it! Honestly, residents are bad enough at the best of times. I cannot put up with it any longer, didn’t I tell you to go on a date with her?” She asked with a dramatic sigh as if Connor had developed the mentality of a three year old who had gone against her rules.

“Who?” Years of practice at upholding the Rhodes’ air of nonchalance and aloofness meant that Connor managed to pretend that he didn’t know _exactly_ who Ava was talking about. He felt like he was thirteen years old, trying to keep his first crush a secret, complete with red cheeks and a pounding heart but flicked through the file of his first patient like her words meant nothing.

“You’re ‘friend’ in psychology? Honestly Connor, what have you done? She looks like a dog you’ve just kicked. Sad eyes and everything.” Ava huffed in annoyance.

“I don’t know what you think I’ve done but I’ve done nothing to Dr Reese.”

Lie. He knew what he was doing. He had done it every time things got too complicated. He ran. His flight instincts kicked in. And he wasn’t proud of it, but he had been avoiding Sarah all week.

It had been easy, cutting his breaks short to get more work done, scrubbing in for longer surgeries, not stopping by the ED or the break rooms.

He ran away to Guadalajara instead of dealing with all his family issues. He ran to Riyadh instead of coming home and facing Claire. He ran from the extent of Robyn’s illness and how unqualified he really was in dealing with it.

And he felt the itch to run a mile when Sarah’s lips grazed his cheek.

Because his feelings for Sarah were far from simple. And he certainly didn’t expect an innocent peck on his cheek to make his heart give a lurch. Because if that was what could happen with a brief touch of her lips then he suddenly found himself wanting the chance to see what it would feel like to put his hand at the back of her neck and kiss her until they couldn’t breathe.

Sarah, his friend, his colleague, was being friendly and he was thinking about the fact that he wanted to hide away with her forever in that house they had seen, where he could see her smile every day, where he could hear her play piano with the same look of concentration she wore when she was in the middle of a case in work and where he wouldn’t ever have to leave her company.

Yeah, he had officially gone crazy.

Which was why he spent the following shifts avoiding her. It was easy to do, work was hectic, Dr Latham was occupied so he split the extra workload with Ava. Still, a few days ago he would have carved out any spare time he could with the psychology resident. Just to have someone to listen and to stop him becoming a complete workaholic.

“Uh huh.” Ava rolled her eyes as she finished signing the forms she was working on. “Connor, you’re going around with that frown on your face again, whatever you’ve done, fix it. I don’t need to know the ins and outs of your love life but when it starts to affect my work life, you’ve got a problem. You’re back to barking at the residents and when I had Sarah check in on Olivia, she looked like someone had stolen the sun from the sky. Get your act together Rhodes, I do not have time to be dealing with you and Reese.”

 

* * *

 

He spent his short lunch break texting Estelle. About properties, not their ill-fated date.

He really shouldn’t have led the poor woman on. But upon realising that he could easily fall far too hard for Sarah he had to go on a date with someone else.

He had spent all day trying to rationalise everything to himself. Sarah was now about the only other person in Chicago, apart from Claire, who he had let so close to him, he couldn’t lose that. She had enough trouble with Noah, she certainly didn’t need him and all of his baggage.

He knew that he told himself to move on, but he meant he wanted to go on simple dates with boring small talk and kisses that would help him forget about Robyn.

He didn’t want anything too serious.

So he had taken Estelle out, who looked nothing like the woman he actually wanted to see. And he was indeed bored by the small talk and the kisses didn’t even hold his attention the way Sarah’s mere presence could.

 “Hey Dr Rhodes.” He looked up from his seat outside on one of the benches to see Dr Charles standing beside him.

“Dr Charles.” He nodded, “How are you?” He felt a stab of guilt, it had been a while since he had asked after Robyn. The last he knew, she was happy, and he hadn’t thought to ask again.

“I’m good, I’m good.” He said, taking a seat beside him.

The psychologist clear his throat, “So I, uh, I hear that you and Sarah have become quite close recently.”

Connor was pretty sure that he sent the older doctor the most withering glare he could. Not him too. He really, _really_ , didn’t want anyone else listening to the spiteful gossip that was doing the rounds. “Yeah.” He nodded, “Yeah we’ve been spending time together, she’s a good friend.”

“I believe that. She’s a great person.” Dr Charles nodded along.

“Look Daniel, I wouldn’t go believing everything you hear around here. We’re not dating, she didn’t pick me over Noah Sexton, I didn’t use her as a rebound on Robyn and she isn’t after my family’s money or whatever other rumours you’ve heard…”

“Oh no, I didn’t mean any offence. Believe me Connor, I’ve been around here long enough to know not to put much stock in staff gossip.” He chuckled, “I just think that, you know, as unlikely as your friendship is, I think it’s good, for the both of you.”

“ _Unlikely_?”

“Well yeah. You’re a cardio-thoracic fellow and she’s a psychology resident. I know she was important in Robyn’s care but I didn’t know that you two were close otherwise.”

The simple comment put him on the defensive. He might be battling his own feelings towards Sarah, but that didn’t make their relationship unlikely or odd or anything of the sort.

“She was one of the first people I’ve met here, I’ve always respected her. We happened to be caught up in our problems, together, it’s not _that_ odd.”

“Well, frankly I’m just happy to hear it. I think that Dr Reese has been through enough recently, and now being betrayed by Noah? You’ll understand my apprehensiveness about who she chooses to spend her time with.”

He didn’t know how the older doctor knew anything about Noah and Sarah or him but he wasn’t going to question it, it was Dr Charles.

“I wouldn’t do that to her.” He said, “And Noah shouldn’t go around and expect the world to fall at his feet. And he especially shouldn’t expect Sarah fall at his feet because he was nice to her.” Connor didn’t mean to nearly spit the words out, but Noah had really gotten under his skin.

“He’s young, he’ll find someone else to chase after.” Dr Charles shrugged. All Connor wanted to do was chase after Sarah, it felt like he was at war inside himself. “Sarah is tough enough to get over it.”

Silence fell between the pair, a silence that Connor was familiar with. Dr Charles liked to use it to get the other person to talk. But Connor’s mind was a cobweb of tangled thoughts and feelings toward the very subject of their conversation and he wasn’t going to start talking, he didn’t want to admit anything he wasn’t entirely sure of yet.

“So if you don’t mind me asking, how are you finding work now, after everything with Robyn?” Daniel asked as he took a sip of his drink.

Connor puffed out a sigh, “Good, work is busier than ever. People seem to have realised they can talk to me again without worrying about bringing up her name.”

“Busy, huh?”

Connor dared a glance at the older doctor’s blank expression and he suddenly felt like he had heard that tone before.

“Yeah.”

“I’m not one to talk, but sometimes as doctors we can spend too much time working, avoiding other aspects of our lives…”

Ah. He had heard that tone whenever Daniel had been acting protective of Robyn at the start of their relationship. He had been looking out for his daughter.

Connor got the awful feeling that Daniel could see through him. See through the aloofness in regard to his exact feelings for Sarah. He got the feeling that Daniel was now just looking out for the woman that might as well be his other daughter.

He nearly laughed at himself, a few months ago and he was flailing in his work life and now he was back to wandering around at loss of what to do about his personal life.

And Daniel, apparently, had noticed this before Connor had himself.

Connor was saved by the beeping of his pager. He smiled to himself, he had never been as glad to be the on call trauma surgeon.

“Sorry, I have to get this.” He excused himself and made his way quickly back inside and detoured for the ED.

He was met with the familiar rush of adrenaline as the ambulance rolled up with the patient. Maggie sent him April and Noah to help out. He had half a mind to wonder if she did it on purpose.

He _liked_ the idea of his work colleagues being akin to family, but the Sextons were not at the top of his list of favourite people at that moment. Not after hearing Doris declare to the other nurses that she was ‘Team Noah’. Sarah didn’t want to be with Noah anyway.

The patient had been impaled by a line of fencing that he had fell onto from the scaffolding of a construction site. The injury wasn’t one the worst Connor had seen so he was able to show Noah what he had to look out for in cases like that. They stabilised the man enough to get him to the OR, in a flurry of action, by which time the in house trauma surgeon was available, leaving him in the ED to fill out the paperwork.

Leaving him with a good view of what happened next.

Sarah rounded the corner, files in her arm, and bumped straight into Noah. He placed a hand on her arm to steady her and apologised. While Connor tried to quench the sudden flame of jealously that sprung to life in the pit of his stomach.

“Excuse me?” A young nurse nearby shot across at the pair who were trying to side step each other. Connor couldn’t help but smirk at the fact that Noah’s eyes widened in mild panic. “I thought you said you weren’t dating her?”

“Wait, what?” Connor, along with Will, stopped pretending to have an interest in their respective paperwork, as a young med student looked up from the computer closest to Noah. “You’re dating someone? You said we were exclusive.”

Sarah was smart to bolt from the conversation and come and hide behind the ED bay.

“I…we…that’s not…” Noah looked from one girl to the other.

“He said _we_ were exclusive, we’ve been dating for a month.”

“No.” The student shook her head. “He was breaking up with his girlfriend at his party, we’re official now.”

“His girlfriend? That girl from paediatrics at your party?” The nurse shot at Noah, “You said you were just sleeping with her, you said that was over.”

Maggie somehow managed to calm both girls down and ushered Noah on his break for causing a scene and interrupting the running of the department.

“So you saved yourself a lot of hassle with Noah then huh Reese?” Will smiled as everyone went back about their business.

She bit her lip to stop from smiling too brightly, “Yeah, apparently.”

Connor was of the opinion that she was too good for him anyway but he couldn’t voice his opinion without drawing her attention.

“For the record, I was ‘Team Connor’” He smirked, clicking his pen and flicking a page. Connor could only look on as Sarah’s cheeks flushed red and she huffed and mumbled something under her breath about seeing to a patient before picking up her files and moving on.

Connor knew he was a goner. If he had spoken, she would have met his gaze with those brown eyes of hers and he would have been putty in her hands.

 “So you two aren’t dating?”

“You too?” Connor groaned, sending the red haired doctor a withering glance.

Will chuckled and shrugged his shoulders, “Hey, these stories keep work interesting.”

“Let him deal with this, you can’t keep fighting all his battles for him.” Ethan told April as he kept an hand on her arm and stalled her beside them, to keep her from following her brother.

“So Noah wasn’t so cut up over Sarah then huh? He moved on pretty quickly.” Will commented before smirking at Connor and swaggering away.

Connor knew that April couldn’t argue. He had been chasing other women while chasing Sarah. Connor didn’t know how, once appreciating how amazing Sarah Reese was, anyone could have eyes for anyone else.  

Connor tried to concentrate on the words on the page in front of him, but he couldn’t help but see the not-so-subtle glance that Ethan made toward Connor for April’s benefit before moving on for the next ambulance patient.

April considered him for a moment at him, “How come you and Sarah aren’t talking anymore?”

He wondered how anyone could keep a secret in this hospital. “We’re not _not_ talking.”

She pursed her lips and sighed, “I think I was wrong. About Sarah. And you. And Noah.” She glanced over at the door her brother had disappeared though, rolling her eyes to herself. “It’s just hard not to jump to my baby brother’s defence.”

“I get it. He’s family.” Connor knew he’d probably do the same for Claire. “But I think Sarah would like to hear this from you, not me. She likes to think we’re all family too.” He told her and watched her squirm under the unspoken acquisition. It helped that Doris was in earshot too. Family shouldn’t pick on people like the way everyone had picked on Sarah.

 

Connor didn’t get to stick around the ED much longer because he was paged for Olivia Matthews. He really didn’t want bad news. Ava reached the room just as he did.

“Olivia, how are you feeling?” Connor asked as he watched her stats fluctuate.

“I’ve been better.” She moaned through short sharp breaths.

“Can you follow my light?” He flickered the torch in front of her eyes but she flinched away.

“I feel dizzy.”

Ava listened to her heart beat and then met Connor’s eyes. This was not good.

With a solemn nod from Dr Latham, Connor went on to explain to Olivia.

“Olivia, I’m afraid it’s what we feared, we think you’re in the early stages of graft failure. The medication we have put you on don’t seem to have helped as much as we hoped and the new heart seems to be slowing. This is causing a lack of oxygen getting into your blood. We think putting you on a ventilator would be the best course of action, it will ease up the pressure on the heart, give it time to adjust and get that oxygen back into your blood. Would you be alright with that?”

She wheezed and nodded her head, “Yeah, please, do whatever you think is best.”

“Alright, we’ll get right on it.” He nodded to Ava who went to prepare the machine.

He got about moving the various machines as she closed her eyes tight. He hated seeing her like this. He knew he wasn’t supposed to get attached to his patients but Olivia, who had been through so much at such a relatively young age, was like a ray of sunshine in the cardiology bay, making friends with all the staff and always upbeat despite her odds.

“Are congratulations in order?” He smiled, trying to take her mind off yet another procedure and her dizziness, while noticing the new engagement ring on her finger.

Her eyes opened and she beamed, “Yes. Nate asked me yesterday. He said he was going to wait until I got better and got out but he didn’t want to wait another minute wondering if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. The idiot,” She smiled fondly, “Of course I do.”

“I’m happy for you. I hope you have a great life together.”

They ignored the fact that they didn’t know if she was going to live.

“Thank you.” She shut her eyes again, “So is there any lucky person who has your heart Doctor Rhodes?”

 _Yes_ , he thought. “No.”

“You’ll find someone.” She whispered through her short breaths. “But you can’t ever let them go.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It’s terrifying, deciding to love someone. But believe me, it’s worth it.” She sighed, “After what I’ve been through, I’ve learnt that it’s important to let the right people in and to hold onto them. Find someone who sticks with you even in tough times. Even when the whole world is against you. That’s what my James has done.”

Ava returned then with the machine. And Olivia gave them one more smile before they transferred her onto the ventilator and they could just hope against hope that her body wouldn’t reject the new heart altogether.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed this chapter :)


	12. Chapter 12

It had been a pretty bad week, all things considered.

Sarah’s realisation that she might, _maybe_ , feel something for Connor other than friendship had come too late and he had swanned straight onto a date with someone else.

She should be happy for him, he was moving on from Robyn.

But trying to ignore the niggling voice inside her head that was telling that she really wanted him to move on by dating her, was tiring and just put her in a bad mood.

Sure, April had come to her and apologised for making assumptions about her and Noah. But Sarah still found herself getting not so subtle glares off a few of the female staff in regard to her relations with Noah, apparently her name was still on the ever expanding list of women that Noah was dating.

Dr Bekker had been extra snappy whenever Sarah had consulted in cardiology. And Sarah had gone and gotten invested in Olivia’s case. She had ran through the general post-op chat with the patient, but with the complications in her recovery had led to Sarah spending more time with the woman.

And then she had been put on a ventilator.

But the worst part of the week?

How Connor seemed to be avoiding her.

At first she thought that she was being petty, paranoid or selfish. He had taken extra shifts and shorter lunch breaks, he was being a good surgeon, making up the time he thought he had lost out on.

But then he had started leaving any room she walked into, avoiding eye contact and stopped calling her consults entirely. She only knew this because he had paged up for a consult from psychology and another resident was far too happy to help _Dolan Rhodes heir,_ _the drop dead gorgeous, Connor Rhodes._

She didn’t like the jealously that wormed its way into her stomach at the much too satisfied face of the other resident.

Connor was so much more than a pretty face, he was genuine and ridiculously clever and loyalty and…she cut off her own train of thought.

It was a vicious circle, the more he avoided her, the more she thought about him.

And then the more she was wary she became of him. They had become so close so fast and she didn’t want to be dropped again like Noah had dropped her.

So she had taken to avoiding Connor as much as possible too. If he didn’t want much to do with her anymore, she wasn’t about to give him a chance to hurt her if he changed his mind and decided to pick up where they had left off.

“Dr Reese?” Dr Charles asked, pulling Sarah unceremoniously from her own swirling thoughts and back to reality.

“Y-Yes?” She replied, from where she was meant to be researching at one of the computers in the now empty lounge. It had been pretty full when she had come in. How time flew when she was debating with herself about the pros and cons of liking Connor.

He seemed to pause and give her _the_ look. The open look he often used to appraise his patients so he could assess them and see which direction he should take. “Can I have a word?”

She panicked, the uneasiness spiking through her blood in an instant. What if he thought she was researching too much that day, avoiding the ED? What if she was taken off duty again?

Instead of voicing her concern, she just nodded and watched helplessly as he took a seat beside her.

“Forgive me if I’m intruding, but I can’t help but notice that you seem somewhat…distracted these past couple of days?”

“I do?” Her voice was far too high-pitched for him to believe her act of innocence.

“Little bit, yeah, is there anything you want to talk about? Anything I can help with?”

Sarah highly doubted that the mentor system was designed so residents could whine about their love life, or in her case, lack thereof. And what was she supposed to say? That she was dealing with a nasty case of an unrequited crush? That her newest crush had spawned on her newest friend and now he was dating other people?

But she couldn’t lie. She couldn’t keep things from him anymore, she had learned her lesson.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be distracted. It’s just…something personal going on right now.”

“I see.” Dr Charles nodded, “Has everything settled down with Noah?”

“Yeah, mostly, it’ll be fine.”

“Good to hear.” He nodded, “How’s Connor?”

“Connor?” She tried to not let her mouth hang open with shock.

“Yeah, you two are quite the duo around here now huh?” He smiled, “I just heard his latest heart transplant patient isn’t doing too well, I was wondering how he was doing.”

She’d know how he was if the cardio-thoracic fellow would just talk to her.

“I haven’t seen him in a while.” She shrugged one shoulder.

“Huh, is that so?”

“Yeah. We’re both busy.” She said, trying to deflect her attention back to her work.

“Aren’t we all?” He laughed kindly and she strained a smile. “But it’s good, you know that you have people around you that you can trust. It’s important. Important to let people in.”

Sarah smiled to herself, Dr Charles wasn’t the head of psychology for nothing. He knew she was building her walls as soon as Connor had moved out of sight. And isolating herself was never good. Look what it had led to before.

“Yeah it is.”

He seemed happy to leave her to her mull over his words and left her to her research again.

She finally finished an hour later just in time for the end of her shift, rubbing her eyes and shutting off the bright screen.

“Hey Sarah.” Will said as he came in the door.

“Hi Will.”

“How are you?” He asked, rummaging in his locker.

“Good, you?”

“Glad to be going home.” He admitted with a grin. “I heard there’s a gang going to Molly’s after shift.”

“Oh.” She nodded, still wondering what on earth she was going to do about Connor.

“Don’t get too excited about it Sarah.” He teased, “Rough shift?”

“No. It wasn’t so bad. Just a long week I guess.” She shrugged, “How was your shift?”

“Actually it was crazier than normal, we were down a trauma surgeon.”

“Really? I thought Connor was on shift today?” She could feel her cheeks warning, she shouldn’t really know the in depth timetable of a close friend, should she? But if Will thought there was anything odd about Sarah enquiring about Connor, he didn’t say so.

“Well the trauma surgeon had a family emergency and Connor was wrapped up in with some heart transplant patient? It took a while for him to be able to get down here but our patient got to the ICU so did as much as we could.”

Olivia. Sarah’s blood ran cold.

“I’m glad it worked out.”

“Thanks. Hey, see you around Sarah.”

She said goodbye to Will and immediately got her things together. She made it out to Maggie, if there was anyone who knew what was going on, Sarah would always place her bets on the charge nurse.

“Hey Maggie. You couldn’t find out the status of a patient for me could you?”

“Sure thing, what’s the name?”

“Olivia Matthews. She’s…”

“The infamous heart transplant patient? Yeah she was a regular in here before her transplant.” Maggie said as she tapped at the screen on her handheld. “It just says here that she’s critical I’m afraid.”

Sarah’s heart dropped. And if she was feeling it, then what was Connor like?

“Hey Maggie, you don’t know if Connor is still around do you?”

“Actually I heard he had an argument with Sharon about an hour ago, she made him go home and take a break. Sorry Sarah, I have to go.” She send an apologetic smile Sarah’s way and called to the paramedics that were rolling an ambulance in.

Despite the past week, there was only one thing Sarah needed to do. She needed to go and find Connor.

Despite the pepper spray incident, despite being ostracised from the staff, her run-ins with Noah, Connor had been there to pick her up.

Despite finding her at rock bottom that night in her apartment, he hadn’t given up on her.

She had come so far on her own, she had gotten her little Med family back, she had salvaged her career, but Connor had stood by her the entire time.

And he may have been avoiding her. And she may have been stubborn about it.

But she sure wasn’t giving up on Connor, not yet.

She needed to go and find out if Connor was okay.

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I'd change it up and have another chapter from Sarah's point of view. Enjoy :)

Sarah breathed deeply, before pressing the buzzer. It was a long shot. Hoping he was still living in his old apartment. But it had been hard to catch him for the past week and she didn’t know whether he had moved or not.

She didn’t want to assume that Connor’s recent behaviour had anything to do with her but the lack of contact, the sudden distance, made it hard to ignore. Ignore the fact that she had the nagging feeling in the back of her mind. She could point out exactly where she had gone wrong. She had overstepped the mark. Given into her feelings and cracked the foundations of their relationship.

“Who is it?” His voice was rough through the buzzer.

“Eh…Sarah… _Reese_?” She cringed at her apparent inability to say her own name. But she had the dreadful feeling in the pit of her stomach, for all she knew Connor could know a lot of Sarahs. She knew he had moved on from Robyn and probably dating a lot of women.

And none of them were her.

She frowned at her own thoughts as his voice came through, “Hey Sarah…uh yeah, come on up?” The door buzzed and gave way under her hand and she climbed the stairs up to his apartment to give her time rethink just what on earth she was going to say.

She knocked quickly and he opened the door with one hand, rubbing his eyes with the other one.

She wordlessly handed him the coffee cup. A peace offering, she hoped. He took it, opening the door fully.

“I heard what happened with Olivia. Will mentioned something and I checked with Maggie and she said you were at home, and I didn’t know if this was your home anymore and Dr Charles actually asked how you were doing and I realised that I didn’t know how you were and...” Her mouth was running away on it’s own and she didn’t know how to stop. He had taken to standing with one shoulder leaning against the frame of the door and looking at her with a half-smile on his face.  He was distracting her, had he always been this handsome?

“I…I just wanted to make sure that you’re okay. Anyway…” She continued but he jumped in.

“Do you want to come in Sarah?”

“Sure?”

He smiled wearily, stepping to the side while taking a sip of the coffee and letting her in.

His apartment was empty save for two chairs, a table and a lot of files. She wondered where he was moving to. And why it felt like there was an enormous distance between them.

She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, “So I never got to ask, did you find your new place afterwards?”

“I did.”

“That’s good.”

“Do you want to sit?” He asked, motioning for her to take the spare chair.

She hated it, it grated on her skin, the _uncomfortableness_ , the _distance._ They had grown so close and now she needed an invitation to sit down?

But she took her seat.

“How are you? With this whole Olivia thing?” She asked.

He blanched, running a hand through his hair and shrugging, “Fine.”

“ _Connor_.” She told him with her eyebrows raised. To hell with it, she may have overstepped their boundaries but she still cared. She wasn’t going to apologise to caring about him. And he was most certainly _not_ fine.

He deflated under her gaze. “She was, _finally_ , doing well. She finally caught a break. And now this?” He shook his head. “She just got engaged and now she might not even make it until morning, never mind her wedding.”

“That’s horrible.” Sarah sighed, “But she still could pull through.”

Connor just nodded and took another sip.

“I’ll head back on over soon.” He said.

She bit the inside of her cheek, did he want to get rid of her?

She took a breath, deciding she was risking everything but it was worth it because she couldn’t deal with the awkwardness anymore. She had dealt with losing Noah, but losing Connor? She didn’t want to think about it.

“Did I do something wrong?” She asked and watched as his head swiftly turned toward her and his eyes searched hers.

She was putting herself, and her mistake, out there. If he had a problem with her kissing his cheek, she’d rather they move past it than it hang over them and force them apart.

“What?”

“I just…I haven’t seen you in a while. I don’t know…I thought you were avoiding me.”

He momentarily glanced away, “No, I’m not, I’ve just been busy.”

“Okay.” She bit her lip. She didn’t know what else to do about it all. She had given him a chance so maybe they could move on.

She cleared her throat, and decided to change the subject, “So, how was your date the other night?” She nearly cringed at her own words but she supposed it was only a matter of time, he was over Robyn, he was going to date other women and she had to get used to it.

And remind herself that they were only friends. And that she was just being a concerned friend.

 “Fine.” He nodded, taking a gulp of the hot coffee and cringed as it seared its way down his throat. “Thanks.”

She nodded.

“So how are things with you?” He asked, deflecting the subject.

“Good. Some of the psychology residents are trading shifts with me now, so that’s a good sign right?” She laughed, “I’ll befriend them eventually.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

“I was just finished my shift, swapped with Beth, I’m even on first name basis with some of them now.” His gaze, seeming to see straight through her made the next words tumble from her mouth. “I was worried about you.”

Is that what friends should say to each other? She hoped so.

“I appreciate it Sarah.” He said.

They shared a smile that made a hundred butterflies flutter in her stomach. A smile, a quiet moment, that stretched on a bit too long.

Before his pager beeped from where it lay on the table.

“It’s Ava, Olivia’s stats are fluctuating again.” He told Sarah as he got to his feet in an instant and shrugged on his jacket and grabbed his keys without slowing down.

“Oh, right.” Sarah stood. He turned around at the sound of her voice, seeming to remember she was there. “Do you mind if I come with you? I wouldn’t mind seeing how Olivia is doing.”

“Yeah of course, come on.”

 

Olivia’s room was occupied by an older couple and a guy who Sarah presumed was Olivia’s finance. She hung back by the cardiology bay, watching as Ava and Connor talked in hushed voices outside.

There was a lot of nods and pointing at certain information on the tablet that Ava held. They broke apart and Connor caught Sarah’s eye before he turned to walk into Olivia’s room.

He seemed surprised that she was there. But she wasn’t going anywhere.

She tried to tell herself that she was just being a good friend.

She wanted to be there for him. Actually, she just wanted to be around him all the time now.

Maybe distance between them was the right way to go, she mused to herself, it might throw a dampener on her new feelings.

It took half an hour, of Sarah taking a seat in the cardiology waiting room, she just wanted to be there for Connor.

He had been there for her.

She saw Ava leave the room, through the glass doors of the waiting room, and then Connor a few minutes later.

“Hey, how is she?” Sarah was nearly afraid to ask.

His walls came crashing down in front of her, and a beaming smile appeared on his face. “The ventilator did its job, there was a scare earlier on but the increased dosage of the medication stabilised her again. She escaped the acute graft failure, the new heart is finally working. She’s good, she’s stable and responsive and asking about when she can have her engagement party.” He laughed.

She had to stop doing it. She really did. But without thinking of anything other than the smile on his face and the joy in his voice, Sarah threw her arms around his neck in congratulations.

“That’s so great Connor.”

His arms circled around her waist with a feather light touch and she found herself quickly untangling herself from his embrace. She didn’t want to push him farther away.

“Yeah. It’s good.” He said, glancing between her and Olivia’s room, looking like he had something on his mind.

“It’s wonderful.”

“You didn’t leave.”

“No, I told you I was worried…” About who, she didn’t specify.

“I…I appreciate it.” He said, holding her gaze again and she as starting to wonder if she was beginning to imagine it.

“Dr Rhodes?” His name was called and he sent Sarah an apologetic smile and left her standing there in the middle of the cardiology floor wondering if he even knew that he now somehow had her heart in his hands.

 

 

Sarah took a breath and brushed at the non-existent creases in her dress before she opened the door. One of the hospitals conference rooms had been booked anonymously, to be used specially for the purpose of Olivia Matthew’s engagement and heart transplant party.

Sarah had laughed when she heard it, it didn’t take much to know that Connor was behind it.

Two weeks after it, still weak and pale and monitored closely by staff, Olivia was sitting with a man whose hand was clasped tightly in hers at the other side of the room.

She was still recovering, still looked a little drawn but the beaming smile would distract anyone from her illness. Olivia just radiated happiness.

Sarah left her present on the table of presents and spotted Maggie and April and made her way over to them.

“Oh you look amazing Sarah!” Maggie said, pulling her into a hug.

“Thanks you too and April you look awesome.”

Sarah had never been so happy to see someone embarrassed in work like Noah had been, it had helped to smooth things over between her and the rest of the staff and she could breathe easy now.

“It’s such a nice party, and a great idea, Olivia deserves it.” April smiled.

She spotted him in the crowd before he spotted her. Her heart bet louder in her chest like it always did when her eyes landed on him. The fact that he was wearing a suit didn’t help matters.

He smiled when he saw her and a slight shiver tingled down her spine when he made his way towards her.

Things had been good between them recently. Things had gone back to their normal after she had chased him down over Olivia. She wasn’t sure what prompted it but they fell into their more familiar routine that she loved, catching breaks and coffee together, even drinks in Molly’s again.

“Hey. You all look great.” He smiled at the three women.

“Mmm hmm.” Maggie scoffed with a smile, glancing between Connor and Sarah before pulling April away to talk to Ava.

“It’s a good party.” Sarah mentioned.

“It is.” He said.

“Nice of whoever organised it you know.” She smiled.

“Do you think so?” He said, looking at her.

“Yeah, I do.”

The music playing in the background rose until people started to gravitate toward the dancefloor. Sarah felt suddenly out of place. She didn’t want him to think he had to dance with her, they were friends and he had other women to think of, and the last thing either of them needed after the last couple of months were more rumours about them.

“I’m just going to say hello to Olivia.” She said, touching his arm to get his attention and excusing herself.

She made her way over to Olivia and her fiancé and passed on her congratulations, all the time feeling Connor’s gaze on her.

She wasted as much time as she could but things only went from bad to worse when the music slowed down. She was making her way back across the room when he met her half way.

“Do you want to dance?” He asked, his hand out towards her.

“What will people think?”

“Who cares what they think?”

She wanted to say she cared, but she didn’t, not really, not when he looked at her like that.

So she found herself placing her hand in his and let him lead her onto the dancefloor.

It was the worst type of temptation, the way her hand fit into his, the way his hand resting on her lower back felt like the most natural thing in the world. Because he didn’t feel that way about her. Not the way she felt about him.

“So, do you remember that day when we were looking at apartments?” How could she forget, she wanted to tell him.

“Yeah.” She nodded along.

“Yeah. I think I’ve started to realise what I _really_ do want.”

“Oh.” She nodded, diverting her gaze away from his eyes, she didn’t want to hear what he wanted, not when it didn’t involve her.

“Yeah, I figured it was about time I put down roots.” He had bought an apartment that he had seen on another visit with Estelle, using Sarah’s questions of course, she had learned in the past two weeks.

“That’s good.”

“I mean I’ve got my career back on track, I now have own a little piece of Chicago.” He went on and she bit her lip from blurting out that he too, in fact, now owned a little piece of her heart. He had helped her pick herself up when she had fallen down.

“I just have one thing to figure out…”

“What’s that?”

She also wondered when they had started whispering and when they had stopped dancing. Because they were now stood among the dancing couples on the floor, his hold on her still in place.

“ _You_.”

Her sharp intake of breath was audible. “What? W…What do you mean? What does that mean?” She wondered if her legs would give out beneath her.

“It means that that I’ve fallen for you. That I want to date you if you’ll have me. That I certainly never wanted anything serious, that I wanted to run away when I finally wrapped my head around what I felt for you, but I don’t want to anymore. Because you’ve got this big heart and you were there when no one else would stay and you have that hilarious wit and quick mind and this scares the hell out of me but I didn’t want to go a day longer without telling you.”

She was speechless.

“I got some advice, that you should hold onto the right people in your life. Sarah, everything was wrong in my life and you were the only right thing in it. I tried to not give into this, but I don’t want to date anyone else, I’m not interested in anyone else, I couldn’t be, not when you’re, well, _you._ You’re this amazing, beautiful person. And yeah, I don’t want to be your friend anymore, I don’t want to be some colleague you see at work, I want to be…”

She wanted him to be more, so much more.

“Yes.” She cut in, “I’d like that. A lot.”

“Really?” She could feel the sigh of relief he breathed between them. Her mind was still trying to catch up and rationalise the thought that _Connor Rhodes felt the same way about her as she did about him_ and her heart was in over drive but her hand was in his, and they were together in their little bubble on the craziness of the dancefloor.

They were together, and that was all that mattered.

She nodded just as the DJ called for the crowd to stop dancing and to listen to Olivia’s speech. She wondered if she had ever seen him smile so brightly.

They were in the middle of the crowd, in the madness of the hospital, in the craziness of life.

And her hand was still in his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I'm sorry to say that currently this is the ending of this little story, thanks for sticking with it and for all the amazing support :)
> 
> Some good news though, I'm working on an epilogue so we can see what happened to our favourite couple :)


	14. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

The familiar noise of Molly’s was comforting to Connor Rhodes. He sat alone at the bar, tapping his fingers against the wood.

“What’s up Doc?” Herrmann asked, “You’ve been taping away for a while now…” The firefighting bartender didn’t miss much, Connor mused.

“I have a surprise for Sarah.” Connor managed, “And I’m hoping it goes okay.” The nerves in his stomach were worse than the night he had proposed eighteen months ago.

He just had to wait a little bit longer for his wife to finish her shift and he could get working on his surprise.

After a year of marriage, he didn’t think he could fall anymore in love with her, but she surprised him every day. He swore the world got a little bit brighter the second she walked into the bar.

It didn’t take her long to find him in the crowd, a beaming smile appeared on her face.

“Hey. Sorry I’m late.” She said, taking the seat next to him and placing a welcome kiss on his cheek. He laughed to himself every time she did that. Something so simple had been the catalyst for everything. To him having to face up to his feelings about her, to letting someone in again, to him standing at the top of the aisle and watching her drift towards him like a vision.

“Hey, don’t worry about it.” He said, “How was your day?”

“Good. The new residents are just getting the swing of things. Beth and Alyssa wanted my opinion on a case so I got held up.” She told him before ordering a drink.

The fellowship suited her. Despite the rockiness of her residency and the lack of relations with her team, Sarah’s work life took a turn for the better when she was offered her fellowship. She had earned it and then earned the respect of her colleagues. After all her own doubts and the doubts of those around her, psychology suited her.

She took a sip while glancing over at him, “What?”

“Nothing.” He said far too quickly, his wife was deceptive of people, but he was at the top of her list, she could read him like a book. Which was a good thing, he mused, no matter how much he would try to bottle things up or close off everyone, Sarah would know and she’d just _be there for him_ until he was ready to open up.

It had taken time, for the two of them really, to become comfortable with the idea that someone could _stay_. Through everything, ups and downs, that they had someone that would stick by them.

“There’s something.” She smiled, “What’s going on with your jitters?”

He should have known that he wouldn’t be able to keep his surprise a secret for too long. She had known about his plans to propose before he did.

She had told him that she didn’t want some public proposal, they had fallen in love together, away from everyone, and she wanted a proposal like that. And that was what happened, he carried the ring around with him for a week, before just deciding that he couldn’t wait any longer and arriving at her door with the question on his tongue.

“Nothing.”

“ _Uh huh.”_ She nodded along, “Sure. You’ll tell me eventually.” She smirked, knowing full well that he would.

It was going to be their next step. But he couldn’t tell her, he had to show her.

“How was your day?” She asked sweetly, changing the subject.

“It was productive. Busy. The new fellows aren’t quite seeing eye to eye.”

Sarah laughed, “Was it like déjà vu?

“Ava and I got along.” He protested.

“After I cleared things up for you.” She pointed out.

“Well these two aren’t as amicable.”

“Life was never going to be easy being an attending.” She reminded him while she intertwined her fingers with hers, “But you got this, it’s what you’ve worked for.”

Perhaps that’s why their relationship worked, Connor thought glancing at their joined hands. They were practically each other’s biggest fans, they knew what it was like to be alone and lonely, and never let the other feel like that again and they both understood the pressures of their chosen careers without being too close in their fields.

Connor managed to keep both him and his wife distracted from his nerves from telling her about a complex case that he was working on until they both finished their drinks.

“I have a surprise for you.” He admitted as they shrugged on their coats.

“Really?” Her eyes brightened.

“Yeah.” He smiled.

“What is it?”

“I can’t tell you or it wouldn’t be a surprise.” He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and she automatically wound her arm around the small of his back. It was times like this he never wanted to let her go. He could feel her laugh as he placed an absentminded kiss into her hair.

He led her to his car, “We have to go for a drive to get there though.”

“So it’s a place?” He could see how quick her mind was working to figure out what kind of surprise it was.

“Kind of?”

He started his car and started off. He drove for twenty minutes, taking turns that would take them in circles until he was sure that she would lose place of where they were going, in hopes that she wouldn’t guess his surprise before seeing it.

He pulled up outside the empty house. It was shrouded in darkness. No one was home.

“Where are we?” Sarah asked, looking around the neighbourhood lit up by its street lights.

He was too nervous to smile much, suddenly worrying that she wouldn’t like his idea. That he was being too obvious about just how much he had unknowingly fallen for her years ago. That she wouldn’t like him making presumptions. He hoped she would like it.

“You’ll see.” He said and she followed his suit and got out of his car and he wordlessly took her hand and led her up the driveway.

“Connor?” She asked, apparently half way up the driveway she remembered exactly where she was. “What are we doing _here_?”

“What do you mean?” He didn’t know why he bothered trying to feign his Rhodes’ aloofness, she saw straight through it every time.

“Connor!” She laughed, tugging on his hand.

“Okay, okay.” He smiled, pulling her close, wrapping a hand around the back of her neck to kiss her.

“Now you’re just trying to distract me.” She told him between kisses in the dark.

“I don’t hear you complaining.” He smirked as she laughed. Placing a final quick kiss on the corner of her mouth he reluctantly pulled himself away.

“Okay, this is my surprise.” He handed her a small box, the same size box as her engagement ring had come in.

“What is it?” She took it from him, never taking her eyes off his.

“Open it.”

She glanced between the small box in her hand and his eyes before lifting the lid. “It’s a pair of keys.” She stated.

“It is.”

“For _this_ house?”

“Exactly.” He said and watched she wrapped her fingers around the pieces of metal.

“You bought this house?” Her voice was barely more than a whisper.

“I did.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“…Because…because when we were taking about buying a place together and all I could think of was this house…” He said, running a hand through his hair wondering how he was going to phrase this right.

“Because in the madness that my life had descended into, you were there. And this house…” he laughed “Do you have any idea of how much I wanted to buy it on the spot, the moment I saw the look in your eye all those years ago, I wanted to camp out here with you for the rest of my life and make room to get you a grand piano if you wanted and enough space for us to grow as a family and when it came on the market and…”

It was usually the other way around, usually his amazing wife was the one to go on a ramble and spill out words and it always was him that interrupted her train of thought with a kiss.

He found that he didn’t mind it being her interrupting him.

“This is amazing Connor.” She said with her arms around his neck while glancing between him and the house.

“So you like it?”

“I love it.” She said, “And I love you too. Do you have any idea how much I’ve dreamed about us in a house like this? But to have this _exact_ house? Connor it’s amazing.”

“I’m glad you think so.”

“I can’t believe it’s been so long since we had that viewing here. That was the day I kissed your cheek and thought I had ruined everything!” She said. “I love this house.”

They finally moved up the rest of the driveway and let themselves into their new home. As he wandered around the place, Sarah never letting go of his hand, he thought of just how far he had come.

His career was exceeding his own expectations, he owned a home in Chicago and he had Sarah.

And if he had learned anything in the past few years, it was that it didn’t matter what life threw at him, at them. They weren’t alone.

They could face it all together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading until the end! Hope you enjoyed this story! x


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